Wildest Doctor Suicide Survival Story!

He used to be a plastic surgeon. He used to be rich and famous. He was in San Diego and got turned over to the medical board. He could have killed himself. But you know what he did instead? He decided to make a bucket list of 100 things that he wanted to do before he died.

You are one cool dude!

Hi everyone! I’m here to give a little hope! Not only physicians, but all health personnel. There was nowhere to go to. I couldn’t trust my colleagues. In residency they take 30 people and two make it to the end. People are always spreading rumors and gossip.

Once I “made it” and became a plastic surgeon and started earning the big bucks. After the first four years the lawsuits started to come. Frivolous lawsuits. No support from anybody. Worse than that. My so-called colleagues (that I go to meetings with) were saying bad things about me. “Well I think somebody died in his clinic” NO. “I think he might be doing some inappropriate things.” NO

It was horrible. Just horrible. I had nobody to talk to, go to. I didn’t want to burden my own family with this. So I really wanted to die. Like all of you we work so hard and give up all those parties and fun things to get through and become a doctor and I wanted to be a doctor since I was four years old.

Once I completed my 16 years of training I thought that was it. I’m all set now. I’m here to serve the world and oh my God things that happened . . .

So I wanted to die. They locked me up for 72 hours. Of course, severely depressed at that point. Really wanted to die. Planning all the details.

Then it hit me. I can’t do it. I just cannot do it. It would be a betrayal to my mother who risked her life and raised me as a single mom for years and went through hell. I couldn’t do it. I thought okay what’s the opposite of killing yourself. It’s to have the most incredible life ever lived by a human. I kind of flipped it over.

This is corny, but I got a notebook and I wrote down 100 crazy things that I would really want to do in the perfect world before I die. Proverbial bucket list way before it was cool to do so cause this was almost 30 years ago now that Crazy shit. Like go to space; trek across Antarctica and make a TV show about it; travel to every single country I wanted to go to (162 so far on 7 continents); I became a monk for a year lived in a cave on Myanmar border.

I wanted to give hope to doctors who feel like this is the end. I’ve had it. Not only do I have debt. Not only do I have to deal with insurance. Not only do I have to deal with colleagues I can’t trust. What the fuck good is living like this? I’d rather die. Can you imagine how many are feeling like that right now?

I remember the last time I went to see an internist. He looked so sad. So I said, “You look like you need a hug man.” I hugged him and he started bawling and crying. Oh my God. We’re introverts and we’re good at hiding, put on a professional face. We’re good at that. But it’s not working. So I want to say that if you have to just fucking quit. Don’t worry about it. What a waste of all those years? It’s not.

You can go to the other 190-some countries and be of great service. I’ve gone all over China, India, Bangladesh, helping the Rohingya being genocided. They don’t care about license! American doctor want to help? Oh my God! Please!

Every one of us can be of service wherever you go. I’ve done it in all these countries and Antarctica. Fuck the license and all those fees and CMEs and shit. We have enough training to help make a huge difference. Little villages where there are no doctors. Took me four days to climb to a Himalayan village. Oh my God they went berserk! A doctor came to visit us! Guess what. They have less mortality and morbidity than any other place I’ve been with a bunch of doctors. So much excitement and fun and contribution you can still make.

Money? In America we’re brainwashed. Oh my God if you don’t make six figures, we’re fucked. NO. I was living like a king in Asia for less than $500 per month. Really. Living on the beach. I’m just saying there’s hope. Don’t give up.

What would you tell a doctor who is thinking of killing himself today?

Go ground yourself with nature. Go to a forest. Walk around barefoot. Smell the fresh air and realize we are part of nature. All that stress and bullshit pounding on us is all fake. Number one. Two learn basic meditation, whatever form. Simple breathing. Get down to the basics: What am I? Who am I? What am I doing here? What do I really want out of life? Do I have to do this? Do I want to continue like this? If it happened like this early in my career, is it going to get better? Probably not.

There are options is what I’m saying, You can make things happen. We’re all supposed to have a certain amount of intelligence. FOCUS on the dream. Make it come true—completely!

The world and beyond is your oyster.

You don’t have to have a lot of money. Be nice to have a little bit. This country is not #1. We’re #1 in suicide for doctors; #1 in violence; #1 in the worst health care system in the world; #1 in warmongering. Yes, we’re #1. Oh my God you guys! Go travel and go to the hospitals in Thailand, Spain, and the #1 ranked in the world is Taiwan—#1 ranked health care. Where you’ll feel like you’re in a five-star hotel.

I broke my ankle in Taiwan. $75 later an orthopaedist fixed my ankle in a cast, meds, follow-up appointment. $75 cash. Thank you very much. If it was in France or Spain it would be free.

I just want people who are suffering to know you don’t have to do that. You do not have to keep torturing yourself. thinking you’ve reached the wall, the end. Just say, “Sorry. Fuck it.” I have my knowledge and I’ll use it.

Go west young man, young woman. Just go. Go. Just leave. I just left. I had to do the first thing which was go all 50 states. Once I did that, I just left. Going around the world 12 times so far, planning my 13th right now. You could be of great service wherever you go. All over Africa. God they need you as a volunteer doctor or you can make money overseas. Guess what? The first $130,000 an American makes working overseas is nontaxable. Suddenly you’re gonna be much richer than you ever were in America.

Opportunities abound elsewhere. Don’t let them fuck you over.

Need help? Join our free Doctor Suicide Dream Team. Be inspired! Contact Dr. Wible for Zoom link.

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14 comments on “Wildest Doctor Suicide Survival Story!
  1. Svetlana Kleyman says:

    Pamela ,
    This video is so powerful, and it was even more powerful seeing it for the second time. Although I have a different story and a different path and disposition, I felt like I could relate because I was so badly traumatized by my profession and my colleagues who turned against me and treated me so horribly. I almost lost my life due to an illness got while working hundreds of hours because of the dedication that I made to medicine. However instead of supporting me and allowing me to fulfill my goals of becoming a surgeon., they hurt and retaliate against me as you know. I feel this trauma so much in my heart and I want to connect and help other physicians. Although I have thankfully not been suicidal or contemplated suicide but after what I went through, I can easily understand how somebody could. For example, someone who didn’t have a great support system , who had a little bit different biological and hormonal make up that I do perhaps. I just want to be a support for all. Thank you for all that you do and I look forward to , another Sunday meeting!

  2. K. DeVolld says:

    You can receive a license through the Crow tribal nation . You don’t need a US license because the Crow nation is a sovereign nation . Feel free to email me regarding additional information

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      AWESOME!! I just passed this on to a Native doc who lost his license. He will be so grateful!!! THANK YOU 🙂

  3. Steven Greer says:

    I matched into an urology residency in 2003. I’ve had SUD issues going back to a teenager. I reported 2 DUIs to the Ohio Medical Board and they required I get an assessment and treatment for 30 days, even though I was not drinking at the time (I mean who can be a real alcoholic and get through med school, not me). I was shocked and dismayed. Shame and guilt became my two best friends and my alcohol and drug use skyrocketed after the boards actions. And from that time in 2003 until now, I’ve been swirling the drain of drug use and alcohol use. I’ve just not been able to get over it my 21 year-old daughter won’t talk to me so we are estranged, and that resulted in me becoming an every day alcoholic going back to 2019. Now I have a fatty liver, chronic gout, renal insufficiency. I just have not been able to pull myself out of this hell that I’ve been living in for the last five or six years. I was the first of my family to attend college, so I’m kind of an alien in my family and an outcast. My siblings relish in the fact that I failed and have an addiction in my life is a fucking mess. I move back to my home state of North Carolina in 2021 to help care for my stepfather who Was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer. He died within six months Of his diagnosis. But one month before he died my mother who was 82 at the time was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had planned to move back to New Mexico, where I had strong support network, but I feel like I got sucked in here taking care of my mother and feeling I need to be around because I don’t know how long she’s going live. Right now I’m so depressed I could Careless if I didn’t wake up in the morning, every morning. I have no hope and see no future for me.
    But it was inspiring to read your story and how you flipped the script on the whole medical regulatory process and chose to live a life that most people will never live. I just don’t If I could do that. Thank you so much for your story and your inspiration.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Steven, please let me know if you want to join in this Sunday — our FREE inspiring support groups. I’m actually going to email you the Zoom links now & PRAY you can join us!! How about it? We totally empathize with your situation & would love to give you some love!

  4. Sonia says:

    An incredible read! I can’t wait to watch the video. He should be speaking globally, from sidewalks to stages, inspiring all humans to never give up, look for the juice b life and just be the best they can be.

  5. Dr. Jodi Lovejoy D.BH, LCSW says:

    Thank you for sharing this inspiring story.

  6. Carla Martin says:

    This is incredible. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Tamara says:

    Pamela, thank you for-sharing this Amazing story!I have been following you for many years, such an incredible mission! So much needed inspiration and not only for these practicing doctors in the USA. It is applicable for many others professional corporate employees, subjected to abusive broken system. Many thanks again!

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      oooh Tamara and all reading this please join our weekly free doc suicide survivor celebrations for some serious inspiration! Today we have the Dr. J sequel to what you just watched above. Reach out here for link.

  8. Kernan Manion says:

    Absolutely STUNNING!!! What a spirit-being!

    Can’t wait to meet him.

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