Doctor suicide on her third day in her “dream” job—remembering Deelshad Joomun, M.D. →

Video from an altar in my home shrine to suicided doctors.

My sweet soul sister, Deelshad Joomun, M.D., died by suicide 6 years ago today when she stepped off the roof of a Mount Sinai Hospital building in NYC at 3:30 pm on her third day in her “dream” job as an attending. A pioneer in the field of interventional nephrology, she is remembered for her sweet voice, her intelligence, and the devotion to all who came to her in need.  She was the third female doctor/medical trainee to die by suicide at Mount Sinai in just a few years. Two of the suicides were on visa from Mauritius (Deelshad Joomun, M.D.  & Esha Baichoo, M.D.). To date there has been no thorough investigation into the reasons why three young female physicians chose to die by suicide at Mount Sinai. 

Read more about Mount Sinai suicide cluster (& watch documentary about doctor suicide featuring Dr. Joomun)

Why Do Female Physicians Keep Dying By Suicide At Mount Sinai St. Luke’s Hospital?

My eulogy to Deelshad Joomun, M.D.

Suicided doctor: covered up with a tarp—and silence 

Doctor suicide: where are the vigils. cards, and flowers?

Tags: , ,
No Comments


Doctor suicide attempt—how to get confidential help →


If you’re a doctor who’s had a suicide attempt, don’t tell your boss, (or med board). You’ll be sent to a physician “health” program (a monitoring program for dangerous docs) that starts with a 4-day eval then 90-days at an out-of-state “preferred” facility with polygraph tests and a 5-year monitoring contract with random drug tests & AA meetings (even if you don’t do drugs) costing you 250K. If you don’t comply (or can’t afford), you lose your license and your board publishes your “confidential” mental health records online for the world to see.

Discipline is NOT mental health care.

Want confidential non-punitive care? See resources below:

Depressed Doctor: How To Get Confidential Mental Health Help for Physicians

Physician Peer Support—Sundays


Tags: , , , , ,
No Comments


Resident physicians can’t afford food. Hospital sends them to food bank. →

Doctors Food Bank

Just got this Instagram message (de-identified, posted with permission). A few comments:

“I calculated my own residency compensation as under 250 pennies per hour.”

“What the actual f***. Food bank??? Increase to a livable wage jeezz that’s embarrassing.”

“Average salary of residents and fellows is $60-80k depending on area and program. When working an 80+ hour work week it usually averages to less than $14 an hour. As a literal physician, my 16 year old brother makes more than I do at an Italian ice shop”

“I calculated for a friend recently that she started at 11 dollars per hour as an intern and is up to 15 per hour this year as a third year resident (min wage in her area is 16/hr so still below a livable wage for her in NYC area)”

“When I was a resident we had a meal card for food this is insane to work this hard and be hungry. They likely don’t even have time to visit a food bank.”

“Even residents in the military is making an actual income bc they are officers. This is insane.”

“The government gives them [hospitals] nearly 140k per resident to pay them 65 k this is bs.”

“I didn’t even finish clerkship because they expected us to work 55 hours per week in clinic while only receiving $10/DAY, and on top of that prepare for exams and ‘get a nanny.’”

“It’s not uncommon to see medical students and residents fainting from hypoglycemia and recovering on gurneys in the hallway.”

“Two times I fainted from hypoglycemia. The second time I hit my head on a stretcher on the way down and I was given juice by a kind nurse and then expected to keep seeing patients like nothing happened.”

“At my old residency, one resident went into diabetic ketoacidosis and required hospitalization for several days because of our irregular access to food and water.”

“Labor laws don’t apply to medical students, residents, or physicians. No bathroom breaks. No time for meals or snacks. Due to irregular access to food on shifts that exceed 24 hours, medical students and physicians, like most victims of starvation, develop pathologic behaviors around food including stealing apple juice and crackers from the nurses’ station or grabbing leftovers from patient trays.”

“I learned to eat fast. If you ever see someone eating fast they either served time in prison or medical residency!”

“Getting a break was sitting on the toilet doing your business while wolfing down anything!”

“The cafeteria closed at 1:00 pm so usually we’d miss breakfast because we’re on the wards at 7:00 am and breakfast is at 7:00. And then we’d often miss lunch because it is really hard to get off at 12:00 pm to go get something to eat,” reports a hospitalist on a multi-day shift. “And then the cafeteria was closed because it’s a small hospital so we’d have no access to food. And then I’d think, ‘Well, I’m gonna go out to get a Whataburger, (which I hate eating) and then I wouldn’t get out.’ When we’d ask, ‘Could we have access to food?’ Administration would respond, ‘Well, you outsiders, you come in and you tell us how you need to eat.’ It was insane.”

“I couldn’t afford to buy food at the hospital on an inpatient medicine rotation. I also was given no place to store anything so I would fill my pockets with dollar store granola bars and pray they kept my stomach from growling. One day I forgot them and got so hungry after a long day that I stole cold leftover rice from a meal for attendings in the physicians’ lounge. I was so afraid I would be caught and have to explain. I lost almost ten pounds off an already small frame during that one-month rotation.”

“Medical trainees lose significant weight due to lack of access to food. A close physician friend went from 130 down to 88 pounds during the first five months of her intern year.”

As a third-year medical student witnessing a surgery, I wasn’t doing anything too important other than holding a retractor with another classmate. Suddenly she collapsed onto the floor. She was out. Her blood sugar was 26.They checked my blood sugar. It was 24. I was still standing.”

* * *

Food deprivation is lack of access to food essential for normal function of the human body. The right to food is protected by Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Medical professionals know well the impact of food deprivation on the human body. When our physiologic needs for caloric input are unmet, we struggle to function.

Labor laws guarantee that employees get bathroom breaks and regular meals during their shifts. At PetSmart, my dog groomer gets two 15-minute paid breaks and one 30-minute unpaid break during her 8-hour shift. At Starbucks, my barista gets two 10-minute paid breaks and one 30-minute unpaid break per 8-hour shift. Both work 40-hour work weeks. Even my pilot gets breaks and can’t fly more than nine hours straight. Yet new doctors-in-training work 28 (or more) hours per shift without breaks, meals, or sleep and are expected to work 80 (or more) hours per week.

Labor laws don’t apply to medical students, residents, or physicians.

Many doctors work for less than minimum wage.

Now they are being sent to food banks to eat.

Your thoughts?

Some excerpts above from Food Deprivation chapter in Human Rights Violations in Medicine (a survival guide for residents).



PMP Fight Club Anthem →

A Public Service Announcement for Physicians (PSA to the DOCs)

PMP Fight Club Anthem
By Dr. MC No Face

This is a PSA to the DOCs
Don’t you trust in the PMP
This is a PSA to the DOCs
You better not trust in these greedy thieves
Got some feelings that you can’t express?
Thoughts on your mind so you’re sleeping less
Seen everything from life to death
Beat yourself up over every last breath
So you talk to a doc cuz you’re mentally stressed
Promised help from the best of the best
Thinking that you’re going on a healing quest
End up out in the Wild Wild West

This is a PSA to the DOCs
Don’t you trust in the PMP
This is a PSA to the DOCs
You better not trust in these greedy thieves
This is a PSA to the DOCs
Don’t you trust in the PMP
This is a PSA to all the MDs
You better not sign if you wanna be free

They make you go psycho
Gaslight anything you say at arrival
Drain you dry, take yo’ titles
Put you in the ground then repeat the cycle
They don’t care about your health or survival
Cloud your head till you’re suicidal
Sign 5 years to an endless spiral
So they can profit off of your deprival
They claim to help, well you must invest
$500 for a polygraph test
Locked away for 90 days
Pay 100k just to feel depressed
If you disagree with their misdiagnosis
You’ll be punished with more lie detector bogus
Question your judgement and before you notice
They’ll drive you into a psychosis
Say what?
Straight to a psychosis
Psychiatric witch hunt don’t stop there
Even though you’ve never been impaired
They’ll test you for drugs and then declare
False positive results, now you’re in their care
Snatch your license to give you a scare
Human rights blazing a flare
Just when you thought that they wouldn’t dare
Now they’re shaving off your pubic hair!

This is a PSA to the DOCs
Don’t you trust in the PMP
This is a PSA to the DOCs
You better not trust in these greedy thieves
This is a PSA to the DOCs
Don’t you trust in the PMP
This is a PSA to all the MDs
You better not sign if you wanna be free
Don’t you wanna be free?

Beware of PMPs—Physician Monitoring Programs labeling themselves as “health” programs.

To join our PMP Fight Club, contact Dr. Wible.

(T-shirts & hats while supplies last)

Tags: , , , , , , , ,


Suicide Survivor Prayer Circle →

Suicide Recovery Prayer

On Thanksgiving Eve (11/22), I received this email:

“I wanted to send you an anonymous tip of an internal medicine resident at Lewis Katz Temple University, [name redacted], who recently attempted suicide by overdose. My heart hurts for her and her family. She is currently in the ICU fighting for her life after many years of burnout. Please help.”

I spent days contemplating how best to help the anonymous author (who left no contact information) and also how to help the young physician fighting for her life. I felt such despair that she did not contact my free suicide helpline before she entered the ICU. I wished she would have spoken with me or joined our physician peer support group, or been inspired to live after reading any of the books/articles I’ve written on how to thrive during residency with her heart, soul, and dreams intact. After devoting the last 12 years of my life to doctor suicide prevention, I wondered what else I could do now to help . . .

I decided to host a Sunday Prayer Circle today. As a group of physicians we prayed for her wounded soul. We began with a 10-minute guided meditation Then I dedicated a poem to her recovery.

Prayer Circle Meditation

In deep gratitude this Thanksgiving weekend we come together in our Prayer Circle to share our abundance and appreciation of life. We calm our minds and open our hearts to the immense healing power of love ❤️.We come together as spiritual beings to share our human experience of healing. As wounded healers we connect deeply with the wounds of others as we pray for healing. We open our hearts and souls to allow the limitless healing energy within us to flow toward our wounded sister in medicine. We send our loving energy to embrace our sister as she heals in Philadelphia “The City of Brotherly Love.” May every cell in her body feel our love flowing to her. May she feel enlivened by the life-giving energy we send to her. We trust in the universal spirit of all that is good that our healing energy is delivered. For the good of all and receptivity of all and so may it be ❤️. Thank you.

Physician Suicide Survivor Poem

As the leaves fall
Awaiting your call
Instead an anonymous tip
A doctor suicide
Attempt, still alive
Survived her OD
Internal medicine
A resident

Your melancholy smile
Mysterious private eyes
Your fairytale beauty cries
Humility, scientific curiosity
Exhausted empathy
Overworked perfectionist
Hidden artist tortured
Inside a doctor of medicine
Holding your diploma
A dream come true!
For who?
For validation

Good girl trophy child
Woman with a wild creative side
Deep spirituality, intuition
Your feminine imagination
In captivity during residency
Sleep-deprived, traumatized
By your job to save lives
Now your only job
To save one precious life
Your sprite soul
Enveloped in
Dusty rose
Pixie dust
Pure love

We then shared our thoughts and feelings:

“I can see her in the ICU bed in my Mind’s Eye—I somehow have a gut intuition she will recover.”

“I felt very tearful at the beginning of this, from first seeing the image you created. I feel she must be so exhausted and sad. I felt a lot of relief after we prayed for her. I hope she can somehow feel it too.”

“O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my power. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved, I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.”

“At the beginning of the Circle, I received images: hearts, star, talking/writing, book, heart/GI, a young woman being outstanding and going forward in Medicine, it not being what she wanted but family was very proud of her. She ran out of energy.”

“I was hit with an overwhelming rush of tears. I feel that she was overwhelmed and sobbing. I think she didn’t know what to do with the tears and just wanted the crying to stop. I think she felt broken open.”

“May the one who blessed our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, bless and heal the resident who is ill. May the Blessed Holy One be filled with compassion for her health to be restored and her strength to be revived. May God swiftly send her a complete renewal of body and spirit, and let us say, Amen.”

“Are you able to send that beautiful poem to her family?”

“Maybe send it to the ICU doctor there. Perhaps to have someone read it to her. Or some version of it.”

I am publishing our well wishes for her to read when the time is right. Until then we send our love and support to her ethereally.

[Caveat: We can never demand that she receive and/or accept our prayers. Her destiny is determined by the free will of her soul’s sacred journey and must be respected.]

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




Copyright © 2011-2024 Pamela Wible MD     All rights reserved worldwide     site design by Pamela Wible MD and