What Is the Least Painful Way To Die?

woman doctor crying. Why do so many doctors secretly want to die?

What is the least painful way to die? Why do people commit suicide painfully? Why do doctors commit suicide in such painful and scary ways?

First, we should agree that it’s better to say that a person has died of suicide than to say that they have committed suicide. One step towards preventing suicides is to use less offensive and stigmatizing language when discussing the topic.

I’m Dr. Pamela Wible and I run a suicide helpline for doctors. I’ve spoken with thousands of doctors and medical students who are struggling with thoughts of self-harm. Many have wanted to end their lives.

Imagine being in a situation that seems impossible, where death is the only way out. Suicide is all too common and the suicide rate has been increasing dramatically in recent years, especially among doctors who see no other way out.

Why would someone jump from a building, take a bottle full of pills or put a gun to their head?

Health professionals are at high risk of suicide. With the stress of the pandemic and oppressive changes in the healthcare industry in recent decades, mental health issues are at an all-time high for doctors, nurses, and others.

When a medical student, resident doctor, or practicing physician contemplates a suicide attempt, they often look for a painless death. Additionally, they may not want to leave too much of a mess to be cleaned up.

Many choose to die by suicide in the location where they were wounded. When a doctor is working a 28-hour shift and is suffering inside a hospital, the physician may decide to step off the hospital roof. I led a eulogy for a young doctor suicide victim who stepped off the rooftop of a New York City hospital and her suicide is now the opening scene in this doctor suicide documentary (view trailer).

Is jumping from a building the least painful way to die?

I don’t know if we will ever have a clear answer on the least painful of the many ways to complete a suicide attempt. Suicides in which a jumper has survived reveal that landing hard on the pavement is very painful.

Yet, when a desperate suicidal physician steps off the top floor of an inner-city hospital, instant death occurs, and it is unlikely that there is much pain. Even if it is not the most painless way, the pain is over quickly.

It may seem cleaner and less painful to swallow the contents of a bottle of pain medication or sleeping pills. Yet, if a depressed nurse or doctor overdoses and survives, they may have to live with brain damage and supportive care from a family member or be moved to a nursing home.

I want to warn people that any suicide plan, no matter how foolproof it may seem, could end in disaster. Physicians who attempt to take their own lives may survive and be left living with excruciating pain from their injuries.

Self-inflicted gunshot wounds to the head do not always result in death. While the expectation is sudden death by firearm, I have cared for patients who have survived gunshot wounds to their heads and these suicide attempts may leave the victim living with a permanent disability.

When health professionals have suicidal thoughts, they may consider more issues than the least painful way to die; they also may not want to leave a big mess to be cleaned up.

Postvention is what we do in the aftermath of a suicide.

Suicide postvention involves helping people cope with what happens after suicide. What is it like for friends, coworkers, and family members?

After a suicide has occurred, postvention is all about helping the loss survivors—the family, coworkers, friends, and other close people to the suicide victim. They need help dealing with cleaning up what has been left behind. They need help handling the trauma, confusion, grief, and also to tie up loose ends left by a life that has ended too soon.

When suicide is attempted, and the person survives, we must also plan for what to do when life goes on. Either a suicidal doctor decides not to kill themselves, or they attempt suicide, and the attempt does not end with death.

What happens when doctors survive suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts? Do doctors who planned to kill themselves go on as if nothing happened? Do they simply go back to work?

What is the least painful way to live after surviving an attempted suicide?

A doctor working in an abusive healthcare system is in pain. The pain is not physical, but it can be intense, relentless emotional pain.

Here’s a letter I received from a suicidal doctor:

The decision to go to medical school was wrong. The idea that I could use the talents I have been blessed with to make a difference was a sham. I am called obscene names on satisfaction surveys by patients for not filling their prescriptions for narcotics, tranquilizers, amphetamines; called to task by supervisors for my arrogance at adhering to medical standards of care; and drowning in debt I can’t escape by bankruptcy. I am in the process of stacking my life insurance to adequately care for my wife and children. I know how and where. Knowing I am not alone does not change things.

With permission, I published a book of letters from suicidal doctors. Reading these letters can help us all understand why so many doctors secretly want to die. Download the free audiobook, Physician Suicide Letters—Answered.

The pain of living with human rights violations, inflicted by a non-caring healthcare entity, can be excruciating pain, worse than almost any imaginable physical pain. Doctors are used to the pain of complex bureaucracy, endless work, disrespect, late hours, and taking work home, some documenting medical charts in bed until they fall asleep on their computers.

At some point, for some doctors, something snaps, and they can no longer take the pain. The pain is so bad—death seems to be the only way out.

Some doctors may escape through addiction to alcohol, or an opioid addiction. They try to kill the pain with substances, rather than the irreversible solution of self-inflicted death.

Still, addiction itself often ends in death. They say that addiction is suicide on an installment plan. Maybe the best solution to prevent suicide is to take away the source of pain.

Quit your job and divorce your husband or wife—now.

People are hesitant to give life-changing advice. What if the advice is wrong? No one wants to give bad advice on a major life decision.

If I saw someone being eaten alive by piranhas in a river, I would not hesitate to tell them to get out of the water immediately. What if I saw someone being eaten alive by their job or their marriage?

Maybe it is time that we see situations for what they are. Doctors who go to work and then think about killing themselves don’t necessarily have a mental health problem—they have a job problem.

Doctors who go to work and then think about killing themselves don't necessarily have a mental health problem—they have a job problem.

Planning for what to do after contemplating suicide should include radical removal of the abusive job that is causing extreme pain. Quit the job that is killing you, and you can’t go wrong.

A job that is killing you is not worth the money. It is not worth avoiding confrontation or hurting people’s feelings, because they don’t want you to leave.

If you know you need to quit, and you don’t know how—ask for help. Sometimes you need an advocate who will stand by you and say it is okay to save your own life.

Do suicidal doctors have to quit being doctors?

What percentage of doctors have had a suicidal thought at some point in their career? Could it be as high as 100%? It might be 100%.

Suicidal thoughts do not have to be about wondering what the least painful way to die might be. Suicidal plans do not have to include buying a gun or looking down from the ledge at the top of the building.

A doctor might call their life insurance agent to check on their policy benefits. Is the suicide clause in effect yet? Will the wife and kids get paid in the event of suicide?

When doctors go to a psychiatrist or psychologist, they are at risk for being turned in to the authorities. Health professionals are encouraged to rat each other out about addictions and self-harm thoughts.

Does having suicidal thoughts lead to doctors losing their license? Not necessarily, though if it gets to the medical board, they may actually discipline doctors for having a natural response to intractable pain.

To avoid medical board punishment, a physician friend shared:

After reading an article about one woman’s journey through hell after being honest on those [medical board] application questions, I sought care an hour away. I drove an hour in another direction to nervously fill prescriptions for antidepressants. I required several meds to stop thinking of suicide all day every day. My suicidal thoughts were 100% work-related.

You have a right to be pain free.

Euthanasia is assisted suicide. One person helps another person to end their own life, with the intent of ending intractable pain.

Suicidal doctors have asked me to help them die. I do not help doctors die by suicide. I help doctors live and enjoy their careers.

A hospice program, similar to euthanasia, is a humane method for helping a person with palliative care before death. Often, a morphine injection in hospice becomes a lethal injection when it causes respiratory depression and death.

In many developed countries, euthanasia is not legal. In some countries people may be punished and shunned after surviving a suicide attempt. We would like to think that there are always alternatives to suicide, even when there is pain that won’t go away.

A lethal dose of morphine may make sense to some people when the dying patient has terminal cancer and not much time left to live. But what if the pain is from an abusive career choice?

Anesthesiologists have the highest suicide rate among all doctors and due to their easy access to painless lethal means victims frequently end their lives through intravenous pain killers and anesthetics.

Why does it seem so unthinkable to tell a doctor that it is fine for them to quit? Leaving an abusive job and starting over may be the best suicide prevention strategy.

A doctor can leave their job and still be a doctor. Doctors can be pain free, free of abuse.

Execution by employment must stop.

It seems ridiculous that we would expect someone to find a way to survive in an abusive, painful job. Yet as health professionals we follow our calling by taking an oath.

Did we take an oath to harm ourselves? Have we become disposable people? When did doctors agree to be expendable?

Even though we say healthcare workers are on the front line, as first responders, we are not military personnel at war. It is not the same front line.

Doctors must not be expected to give up their lives for their profession. The job is expendable, not the person, or even the career.

A doctor can still be a doctor, even after quitting an abusive job. All it takes is some simple planning.

Enjoy the sunrise without fear of pain.

Imagine waking up, early in the morning, right before the sun comes up. You walk outside, as the first light shines through the clouds.

People are getting ready for work, ready to face the grind of rush-hour traffic. They are lining up at coffee shops for a rush of caffeine and sugar.

What are you going to do with your morning? Maybe you will go back to sleep and get another hour or two or rest.

You can dream peacefully, until your body is ready to awaken naturally. There is no pressure from anyone to move, until you are ready to move.

Or, you might decide to take a brisk walk around the neighborhood, a bike ride, or a nice jog. How you spend your morning is completely up to you—when you take back your freedom.

What is the least painful way to live and the best way to be happy?

Instead of worrying about the least painful way to die, we should instead ask ourselves how we can continue living with less pain. Suicide is an escape from unbearable pain with no end in sight.

There are always solutions other than suicide. There is always another way out. Do you have a bucket list? Are there things you would like to do or see in life?

Why not start fulfilling your bucket list now? There is nothing stopping you from going almost anywhere and doing almost anything.

If you can’t afford a plane ticket, take the train or bus. Or just start walking.

Anything is better than suicide. You never know what magical experience life will bring to you if you just hang on for one more day.

You can make a decision to try something new. You can make a decision to do what will make you feel happy, fulfilled, and grateful. All you have to do is make a decision and take action and change your life for the better.

If you are a PATIENT who needs help please call 988 (National Suicide Helpline). If you are a DOCTOR or MED STUDENT who needs to talk, you may also contact the PHYSICIAN SUICIDE HELPLINE below.

Male surgeon head down. Need to talk? Confidential help. Click here.


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232 comments on “What Is the Least Painful Way To Die?
  1. peyton... says:

    still going to kill myself if you see a child by the name of peyton know that it is me and that nothing in this stopped me from doing it

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      If you are a health professional (med student or doctor) please reach out to me here. Alternatively, you can always call the national suicide helpline @ 988 in the USA. If you can share with me what country you live in I may know of other resources.

      • Jazzy says:

        Nurse here- what contacts do you have for Australia?

        • Leena says:

          Choosing to become a nurse is my biggest regret in life. I’ve been struggling with (mostly) passive suicidal thoughts for a few years now, thanks to this awful, thankless profession. I feel trapped and have no idea what to do. In addition, I recently lost my job due to hospital closure and my partner is putting pressure on me to work, which is straining our relationship. My life is filled with depression and dread and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with it.

          • Pamela Wible MD says:

            Entering health care as a profession is often a trauma response from childhood. Can you share more about why you chose to pursue nursing and what age you were when you decided to help others heal?

          • Pamela Wible MD says:

            ALSO please know you can join our peer support groups (mostly docs tho0ugh we do have an NP in the group) and you could always launch your own coaching or consulting business (and that way you could control your own hours and not have to be an employee). Do share your dream. What if you hit the lottery and you could create your dream life & job. What would you do?

          • TOM says:

            I’m a 40 year old male. You took the words right out of my mouth. Exact situation. I have 2 children keeping me here. Only reason I feel the need to ever open my eyes again.

          • yung nigga3000 says:

            put it on gawd

          • Anonymous says:

            I know this pain. I’m wanting to end my life, I am a nurse and I should know better but I can’t do this anymore. My kids are young enough to forget me and they are able to move on. Depression wins….

      • Anu says:

        I am a physician and I regret that I chose this profession. I am so sick and tired now. Feels like I am appearing for exams since I am born. I feel that I know nothing, that’s why state test me at every step !! My partner is also a doctor and we hardly even talk . There is so much of work related problems , ego issues , work life imbalances and no love in life . I so badly wants to die a painless death.

      • Anonymous says:

        Tonight my psychiatrist of 8 years has given up on me. I guess I have expressed ideation too many times. He was actually the only remaining person I had faith in. He was a lifeline, which has now also been severed. I am alienated from both parents, had a painfully misunderstood childhood, was assaulted in college (never told a soul) and physically /emotionally abused by my fiancé in grad school. I broke it off when he tried to end me, but … I was so mistrusting and hyper vigilant by then, it led to a lonely life of self-isolation and constant fear. I have been a hospital based medical social worker for all my life. A lot of the same grievances as any MD, except a larger caseload of hostile, dysfunctional, broken and traumatized patients, and 1/4th the salary. I was conducting inpatient psychiatric assessments while I myself was suicidal. Witnessing the disillusionment of MD’s and RNs and the complete failure of our mental health treatment system—which I was a provider of, I became despondent, lonely, hated my job, hated my life, and wanted to die—just didn’t know how to make it happen. Quitting one job only to start another was just more of the same. Exhausting. Pointless. I am on 3 antidepressant/anxiolytics, dependent on Xanax, and still possible that I will burst into tears in front of a co-worker every day. This life must end. I am so relieved that I have finally given myself permission to let go. I don’t want my last moment to be a painful one, and I hope I have the meds to make that happen. I have already traveled to a strange place that is so remote that next-of-kin will never find the body. If such thing as the soul exists, mine is ready to be free.

        • Anonymous says:

          Amen to that. I was just looking up which meds to use. Massive dose of a GA such as STP and HCN? Not something I want to get wrong. I don’t want to swallow a bullet and leave that for someone else to deal with and have to clean up. Got everything in order and bits done, letters writted but access to the prefered GA of choice is now like rocking horse sh*t to get hold of. Suggestions?

        • Nobody Special says:

          Unfortunately, a lot of people working in the mental health industry should not be there. I hope you find another profession you are happy with, one that doesn’t trigger your past. I have been hospitalized numerous times, no one has ever asked if I have been abused, assaulted, raped or threatened. It’s like trauma is not even considered before force medication and hospital malpractice and abuse further compounds a victim and survivor’s trauma. I was locked on a unit with a man sexually harassing me and threatening me with murder. Staff did nothing but gaslight me, walk him by my door and act like I was the problem for complaining about it. Serious damage can be done by people in the mental health industry who are so desensitized and traumatized themselves.

    • Julia says:

      I hope you’re still here. Email me if you need to connect with someone who understands what you’re going through. JHFocus@yahoo.com

    • Berly says:

      Hey Payton. If you’re still checking this site out; write me. I bet you’re NOT a child. Me either. I get you. And agree. So maybe, before we go, we can have a word or two. I would ❤️ to have a conversation with someone who gets it, before I go.

      • Pamela Wible MD says:

        The feeling is real. So many people get it. I was suicidal 6 weeks in bed. Couldn’t get up. So glad I kept breathing as life has so much more to offer if we can just keep breathing. Avoid making a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Please contact 988 to talk to someone 24/7 who can help.

        • Kevin says:

          “Permanent solution to a temporary problem?” What a fucking cliche. Especially if you have been miserable most if your life but one last thing drove you over the edge & is certainly not “a temporary problem.” What horseshit

          • Charles says:

            CouLdn’t agree more. When I hear cliche lines like that I just know that person is full of shit.

          • Pamela Wible MD says:

            After dealing with > 1,700 doctor suicides I can assure you that leaving your physical body is a permanent solution to what often is a temporary problem that can be ameliorated with proper intervention. Of course, our thinking patterns are distorted during depression and suicidal thoughts. I myself was on the verge of ending it (or wishing I could just die in my sleep) back in 2004. Was in bed for 6 weeks. Glad I ultimately found a solution for my misery in a career change.

          • jul says:


          • Thomas says:

            every time i have told my parents that their mental abuse is causing serious depression in me they said that suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem

          • Pamela Wible MD says:

            Sometimes parents do not know what to say to make things better. Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual As someone who has been severely neglected I can say that I love my parents though they were ill-equipped to give me emotionally and spiritually what I desperately needed. Harboring resentment and anger will continue to cause injury to yourself. Please seek help so that you can heal. Giving up your life is never the answer (and if you believe in reincarnation you end up returning to complete the tasks that you left in this lifetime) so . . . isn’t it best to feel your feelings deeply and heal with the support and love of those who care for you? One thing that has helped many doctors who have been abused as children and then traumatized again in training is the Ho’oponopono forgiveness prayer which can be done as a meditation. Would you be willing to try that? The prayer has helped me immensely.

        • Tired N. Pain says:

          The problem is Cronic and progressive. How is this temporary?

      • Rachel says:

        Same ❤

      • Ashley says:

        Hey, I could use someone to talk to as well that understands I’m also here to listen ❤️ Could really use a friend

        • Kevin says:

          I’m seriously thinking of suicide at 63. We both have the same birthdays and I want to talk to you as much a you may want to talk with me.discussing our stories is half the battle, if your still her Ashley. Please contact me

        • Melissa says:

          I could too Ashley. I took a temporary loa from NP program and I don’t know that I want to go back. I fight the rising tide against my desire to just be done with life every single day….Why push forward with a lifelong goal?

    • APerson says:

      Please don’t do it. Praying for you. It will be well with you.

      • Kevin says:

        Prayer is a waste of time. There’s no one listening as evident in the holocaust as well as the bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima Jesus is just another character in a fictional book, written by man 300 years later.he didn’t even smite the Germans. It’s a bullshit story.

        • JJ says:

          I so totally get this. I have had this feeling for a long time myself. I try to respect everyone and be a good person, it gets you a lot of nothing. In May of 2009 I had an accident, fell off the roof, and have a traumatic brain injury along with chronic pain from my neck to my fingers. My wife of 27 years helped nurse me back to health and then berated me when I wanted to stop working because I mentally couldn’t keep up and was being bullied by a supervisor to quit. I have come to believe all I am is a disability check to her. Wife told me I was lazy and just didn’t want to work any longer. This coming from someone who quit her job 2 years before the accident. She has lately begun to tell me I am the most racist, anti-anything but white male. She quit having sex 15 years into the marriage because it is nasty and she has become a Buddhist and is now celibate. that is horse shit, I spoke with her monk and he assured me that is not a part of being Buddhist except for certain practitioners. He himself is not celibate so this is just an excuse for something else. Today I find out from her how useless she thinks I am and re-iterating that she wants me to not talk with her any longer. I stupidly held on because I still loved her, this now has ended. I realize how stupid love is to make you continue living like this. So no I really think religion is just a money scam and a way to control like everything else. This really has been going on since 2009 and it won’t go on much longer at all.
          I have had enough and the “permanent solution” is what I want, stop the pain, and mental problems that have been furthered by her.
          I just can’t take it. It is hard being disabled and having no outward appearance of such.
          Thank you for allowing me to write this out. I am in the process of writing letters to all I love trying to explain this.

    • Not-A-Bot says:

      Same bro 😎

    • Stephen 5262 says:

      Hope you not dead

    • Steven says:

      I know that sex is good and t g e swinger life style is a way to feel pleasure even if your life is unbearable join a stingers club or some kind of sex Society before you go and fuck your brains out and then after that you do that if you still feel like going to have to go at it

    • Denise Emily says:

      Can I please just have a lethal dose of morphine? I’m begging! I took 60 propranolol & 30 Klondine two summers ago and just wound up in icu for a week then the psych ward for a month, my fault! Had I not called someone when I couldn’t stand up long enough to feed my cats I would be free of the pain that is everyday misery. People Say “it gets better” no it doesn’t

    • Landon says:

      Your so lucky bro
      I wish I could kill my self the correct way

  2. N says:

    This was a good read, thank you.

  3. Obo says:

    I am old (73), working but it gave me so much stress I had to take a leave.I need to go back to survive, but don’t want to . I’m suffering from depression, my rent keeps increasing
    I’m almost broke, and I don’t have children. I’m suffering terribly. I don’t know what to do.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      If you are a physician or medical student please join our support groups. If not, I do recommend you seek out support groups either on social media (Facebook has so many) or live in your community. Finding a good therapist would be very helpful as well.

      • Mike says:

        Not a dr. But have had suicidal thoughts off and on since I was a kid. I’m 37 now. Married and have two kids. However, my wife is a gambling addict and Ive tried everything to get her to stop. She’s taken out loans, ruined her credit and just about anything else you can imagine a compulsive gambler does. I don’t want a divorce at all but the issues are becoming unbearable and the kids see it as well. It’s also stressing me out and affecting my health. I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to go through with suicide but at the same time, I’m so torn on what the next steps are, I might act on impulse. I work long days to pay all the bills and provide for my family and my wife works to gamble her money away. I’m Trying to give my kids everything but she’s the opposite and I think divorce is the best option but I have a hard time letting go of anything. So splitting from someone I’ve known for 20 years is tough but may be necessary. I just stress about the ramifications of divorce because I have a lot (house, truck, money) to lose and she has nothing. I would be damned if I was going to give her one penny after all I’ve dealt with including her stealing thousands of dollars in cash I had in our house and opening cards in my name and maxing them out.

        • Pamela Wible MD says:

          Oh please get guidance from a trusted counselor, pastor, priest. You can have a n amicable split. Self-love required that you no longer accept abuse or neglect in your relationships. Please seek counsel with a trusted advisor. Sending love ❤️‍🩹

        • Aaron metzner says:

          Mike, I feel your pain. I too went thru what you are going thru . Everything I had worked so hard for was all in vain . My wife at the time . Gambled away so much money and our life savings . Then she hit me with a divorce because I became distant . California being a no fault state I lost everything . My house which was paid for is gone . Now I live with my parents because i have to pay her 1k in alimony per mo for life . I don’t want to be here anymore . I just want you to know you are not alone . I can’t kill my self but I don’t want to live either . It’s just one day at a time . I hope to be in sn accident or something that takes my life so I don’t have to do it . But I feel your pain . I hope things get better for you .

    • Julia says:

      Here if you need to connect with someone who understands. Feel free to email me at JHFocus@yahoo.com

      • Wendy says:

        Why are shunned and made to feel less human just because we feel we WANT this as a treatment option… we’re done. Let us go! We want to go

        • amanda says:

          i agree with you ,im not afraid to die just hate pain im not depressed just bored with a life that i cant change i have a husbnd and chikdren all grown up except on eldest are 36,35 26 youngest 15 soi cant leave her yet ill wait untill she leaves home hubby been depressed three or more years 27 in we should be happy but hes not i cant help him any more im melting in total sadness for us bot i love him and he loves me but i can not live this life of no joy ambition for much longer i need to go before he does i couldnt cope with his hypercondria and issues he has ,i know i sound like a real bitch ,but im so done and for me i have died twice before mdr meningitis and sepsis got sent back lol i learned i need to move on to the next stage of existence and im really excited about it jusy really dont want pain ,sepsis was worse much worse than giving birth so np pain and im off 🙂

          • Pamela Wible MD says:

            What has helped you in the past? Have you tried trauma-informed therapy? Help is always available
            Speak with someone today @ 988.

        • Kelly says:

          Agreed. I live in misery and loneliness. I actually loved my job as a nurse but recently got admitted to the hospital where I work after a suicide attempt. Colleagues saw my name on the hospital ED online portal. My career is likely ruined. I’m not depressed. I’m lonely and tired and have no joy. I don’t understand living just for the sake of continuing to breathe

          • Jim says:

            Jeez, you’re my twin! Exactly the same. This is wht i dont want to mess it up by getting it wrong.
            That is so well articulated. ‘I’m not depressed, just tired, lonely and there IS NO joy’. It’s not life, it’s not existance, it’s….punishement. If there’s a hell, I’m already in it.

    • Steve says:

      Spend time with dying childen keep them.company and make thier life more eventful as much as u can and somebody will help u in time

    • Harry Sachs says:

      I have been dealing with this thought years and I can tell you the best feeling I have ever had in my life was my granmal seizure where my heart stopped. It was also the worst feeling I ever had to be brought back. I wish that I was let go then. I don’t believe in the afterlife and think that what I did see when I had my seizure was beauty. It is now about 30 yrs later and I want to recreate that situation again. I have had a few seizures since but nothing like that one 30 yrs ago. But non the less I am ready to go. I have lived a full life and am done. Wish me luck

      • Watcher says:

        I wish you luck to stay alive. As I too feel the same and need to know that someone who can relate is still going and waited for joy to come again, just as we know sorrow has been present. I was in a car crash a few years ago. Most traumatic experience I had in my life. Always wanted to leave this earth since I was 9. Hated my childhood and had the worst relationship with my mother. No extended family to reach out too and support me. If anything I’m convinced it’s my blood everyone has been waiting for. Fake support filled with abuse and I too have now become verbally abusive. 33 year old single, no job. Business failed, studied social work but fd up my final placement by bring a big that had prohibited items by error, a sim card and cable wire for a charger. I was on placement in a prison, uni decided to not let me pass though being wrongly withdraw the year prior and appealed back in 2012. Since then tried other work in health care, zero hour contacts no oensikn. Micro managed to fail, everyone present created a illusion of support which came with insult. Men that show interest abuse their position in my life, those that came through my mother more so, afro culture treat women like trash. Always wanted to be happily married and gave kids now I just wish I died in the crash instead of trying to find ways to die. I actually think I might do it, would be my 5th attempt, hopefully my last. Also weird spiritual things been happening actually saving me, was the final reason to keep going, just because of the intervention that is a miracle but I’d rather meet that miracle in person, to prevent hurting others because ifvmy pain. Just wish I had someone that was truly there to watch over instead of just dying but truly hate those I ever knew, the system and tidays religion and society. Its turned me instead of helping when they could. Been in too many ppls lives to feel this misunderstood and unloved and supported. I did well to get to 33, but it’s almost time to go back to wherever it is I came from. No man or child would prevent this feeling, my dissertation on postnatal depression makes it clear it likely will get harder and if I don’t have the support now, it won’t be there when I have a child. And the recent men that have come into my life only wanted me to have a child with no proper commitment. What else does a young woman need to see. I did not come into this world to suffer, but that’s all I’ve ever know. Have a huge bbl loan but did not save my life, if anything it made it worst, ppl around me now only wanted money to enage with me and showed that they had underline hate towards me. That said, if I’m here next year that is another miracle. Sorry for the long post just need a place to vent. I was thinking tonight 🤔

    • Non says:

      Youre not missing much with no kids mate. I have one who doesnt want nothing to do with us and its making me not wanna be in this world without him in my life. Dont want to continue living without my child in my life. Everything is pointless when even your blood and flesh doesnt want you. It says a lot about the kind of human being you must be for this to happen.

  4. Mik says:

    I believe I’ve settled on the method.. I’m going old school, think late 1800’s anesthesia tech.. profit has destroyed the American healthcare system… I do have a rare disorder that’s quite painful and can’t get proper treatment for.. I can’t believe it’s 2022 and everything is so trash the majority of doctors want to off themselves.. certainly wasn’t the case decades ago. Oh well, enjoy the droughts, global warming, novel viruses, wars etc etc.. oh, and appox %33 of all insect species has died off globally since 1979.. there’s only one outcome, for everyone, with the collapse of the insect population.. I’m just heading to the party early..

  5. Hannah says:

    I asked for ways to commit painlessly, not a list of reasons to not kill myself.

  6. Danielle says:

    Wasn’t what I was looking for, that should be false advertising. This world and any life in it is pointless.

    • Darren says:

      It’s strange how as children, teenagers , we have more feeling i.e pleasure. For me anyway. Wonder if this is true for alot of people here on the message board. I ain’t sure how I feel stable pleasure nowadays.

  7. some lady says:

    I too was wondering the fastest most painless way to just leave the planet. no mentall illness just sick of the futility of it all. my life is miserable. i don’t want to be here anymore. its that simple.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Please call 988 — 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you are a medical student/physician contact Dr. Wible here for additional help/resources.

      • J says:

        They don’t help at all.

      • Broken says:

        I called the hotline and she said “all I can say is call 911 if you want to die.” I started to cry and tell her I was alone and suffering. The lady shouted, “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT!” I asked if I should call another line because maybe she was only there to tell you to call 911. She said in a harsh tone, “no but I don’t know what you want me to do!”

        • Pamela Wible MD says:

          That is terrible. I have heard on occasion that some have been left on hold or not received calls back though generally I hear very positive feedback from those who use free hotline/helplines. I would call again (as you will get somebody else who likely has more compassion). Even people who answer suicide helplines can feel hopeless at times. We have neglected our mental health for generation in this country (and even worse in other countries like China where they do not even believe mental health is a thing!) I’m glad we are finally addressing the catastrophe of what happens when we neglect our psychological health (just as important as physical health if not more).

    • amanda says:

      i agree lol just asking for pain free help of this shit whole our beautiful planet has become .i really think we are expected to be depressed or dying ..no just done ..

    • Karina says:

      What is the least painful way to commit suicide?

  8. David. says:

    I went to a Christmas Festival and Markets in the small rural town I live in tonight, and nothing can describe the feeling of total hopelessness that comes from seeing so many beautiful and attractive girls and women and knowing that you are just to ugly to have a hope of even being noticed by them. Attractive people are the fruit – The flowers The grain The seeds – With ugly trash like me the chaff – That no one really needs. So plough me back into the soil, to fertilise the field – Where soon a brand new crop of life is sure to be revealed.

    • Irene says:

      I’m here reading this after I lost my cat, which gave me the purest and most unconditional love ever, now I feel hopeless and don’t want to live anymore, I actually have a ton of problems irl, no money and a painful chronic illness so I just want to give up, but reading your comment made think that you could try adopting one, I don’t consider myself pretty but like I said I was loved so much by my little angel, there are lots of them without a home suffering out there, if you want to experience real love you will find it in them, and you can spare them pain too, the world is too cruel on them, humans can’t be compared to them, they are angels

      • Pamela Wible MD says:

        I agree 100% as I sit here with my 12-year-old kitty. Cats are so very sweet as companions and so low-maintenance compared to dogs.

  9. junaid Ahmad says:

    im gonna kill myself one day trust me. im 15 but idrgaf about my life

    • Lucy says:

      Hey Junaid,
      I wanted you to know that you’re in my prayers. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you are going through. I don’t know how much you’re hurting, but I do know this: You are wonderfully made. The amount of things that had to happen to ensure you would be here are astronomical. You are no accident, because God does not make mistakes. You have a purpose. You might not see it yet. But one day, maybe soon, maybe years down the road, you’ll look back and see how everything fell into place. Please stay. There are people who need you. There are people out there whom you haven’t met yet who will need you. Please stay. Praying for you, friend.

    • Bek says:

      That’s pretty normal at 15 unfortunately but just wait to see what your adult self is like at least hun. Our lives & thoughts as a person changes so much like every 5yrs so just wait til your about 30 then reassess you haven’t even lived life yet. Give it a chance. Travel at least or do stuff u actually like doing. Don’t have to conform

  10. Kevin says:

    Preach it

  11. Cole says:

    I’m 19, I fucking hate this world it’s gonna go to shit anyways. I am going to Kms, I can’t go thur a another year with all this pain.

  12. Don’t google best way to kill yourself says:

    I want my kids to know how much I love them. My story doesn’t matter. What matters is this world we live in won’t turn around until you make an effort to make change. Until then you just have to enjoy the suck. I’m tired of suffering, my kids mother is keeping my son from me. The court wouldn’t give me my son when his own step father tortured him, his step father was sent to prison for torture. In what world do we allow are own government to take our kids from us. I hope others start doing something with friend of court.

  13. ShirleyPearl says:

    Ngl I feel like Peyton I want to kill myself I literally can’t stand my fucking life anymore I feel like shit and get treated like shit by my parents so yeah I’m with Peyton fuck life I’m killing myself

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Please contact the suicide lifeline at 988. Hours: Available 24 hours.

      What do you think could be done to help you with what you are struggling with right now? What have you tried so far?

      • Justme says:

        I want to live but I also want to kill myself. Am praying and hope someone comes to the rescue and saves me but I know nobody will. People say they care but they don’t. Everyone is too busy to help

        • Pamela Wible MD says:

          Once we recognize the source of your pain there are ways we can help ourselves heal. True healing is an internal self-directed process (though it always helps to have a compassion guide or mentor). When did your pain start? Childhood trauma? If you would like to share more, I would love to help you find resources. Of course for emergencies, 988 is the suicide helpline for the general public in USA.

      • Kohe says:

        I would like to go back to school to pursue my final course,2year fee is enough for me

  14. LC says:

    I never realized how many people are despairing of life. I must say to you all, ask the LORD to help you and protect you. Many people will say I’m full of it but I would be remiss if I didn’t recommend going to Him for help. I too suffer from depression. I have for most of my life. I have not attempted suicide because I have people and pets dependent on me You don’t know what God has purposed for your life.

  15. Missy Truth says:

    I have no sympathy for the privileged problems of doctors when so many deny patients access to things like Adhd drugs or pain meds because of their own selfish biases. They keep people without accurate diagnoses and refuse patients for the almighty dollar. Meanwhile people like me have unmedicated add and addictions are disabled and lived through traumas like rape, that we’re dealing with and with no access to a prescription pad to end things the easy way. Cry me a river.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Actually the almighty dollar leads many docs to dole out drugs like candy running pill mills (not great either). The med board and other regulatory bodies have controlled patients & physicians by limiting our ability to prescribe (or even talk about treatments during the pandemic that may help patients) so your anger seems misdirected. 99% of docs went into medicine as naive young people just wanted to help others, They had no idea they would be swept up into a criminal ring led by the medical mafia. All those who seek to deliver and receive true health are often victims of these dysfunction system. Quick read exoplains it all in free ebook (20-min read): PHYSICIAN BETRAYAL: How Our Heroes Become Villains

    • APerson says:

      Anyone on the verge of taking their life is not privileged. I hope you find peace.

    • Anonymous says:

      I plan on killing myself within the next next year. I want to tie up a few loose ends and figure out a way to keep certain people from knowing about my death. Once that has been taken care of and I have saved up enough money to travel to my final destination, I will pack my things, leave, and do what I should have done several years ago.

    • Mark says:

      I agree! I have PTSD, deal with panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, a tremendous amount of anger and the medication that works for me is anti-anxiety medication. Yet, most doctors won’t give me the medication I need because they’re scared to do so.

      My anxiety was so bad it was causing various other health problems. I checked myself into urgent care, answered a bunch of questions, ran tests, only to hear the doctor say “You have severe anxiety. I’m not going to give you anything for that because I don’t want to lose my license.”

      Over 3 hours at an urgent care facility just to hear a doctor say he’s a coward and he won’t help me?!?!?! If they refuse to help me, I’ll help myself and commit suicide. I’ll be better off and hopefully that doctor kills himself as well. He’s a pathetic excuse for a doctor.

  16. Robert says:

    My time left is limited. I’m done and me kms will make many people happy. I offer misery and hurt to everyone I’ve ever encountered including family and my children. It will definitely improve their lives when I’m gone. Gonna do a gunshot through my mouth so it will be 100%. The mistakes I’ve make can not be undone and the longer I’m here, the worse for all

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Despite tremendous morbidity, the overwhelming majority of patients who present with facial self-inflicted gunshot wounds will survive, especially if they are young and have no penetrative brain injury.

      Please call 988. Your life has meaning. Please do not give up.

  17. Ellen says:

    The problem is for me, it’s not my job but my family situation that keeps making me want to die. But if I cut off from them, everyone else asks about your family and if you’re estranged, then new friends are skeptical about coming into your life. It seems like if you’re born with a family that doesn’t understand you, you’re destined for isolation.

  18. Cay says:

    😢For real.

  19. WearySoul says:

    I hear the plans of action against suicide. None of them is able to restore strength to my weary soul. I’m 62 and have wanted relief from this pain called life since I was a child. I no longer want encouragement to keep going. I want a compassionate, painless way to finally have peace. Someone please tell me how to do this right. I don’t like pain.

  20. Kat says:

    I’m twenty years old, my life has been a rollercoaster for most of my life. Nothing really seems to make me feel accomplished or even satisfied on what I do. From my parents being divorced to now not having any family at all. Losing friends along the way which is fine. But how do you expect a person to keep everything up. It’s almost Christmas the first one where I have no one. I have my boyfriend but I don’t seem to make anything good happen. I’ve lost my mother as she disowns me. I’ve lost my father who had just seen me more as a chance of sexual desires more than a daughter. I’ve tried my hardest to speak up and look where it got me.So tell me please, what am I here for.Can I not have a happy family like I’d pray for since I was a child. Did my path go as it was. Did I do something wrong. Why has everything went wrong to the point where I’m tired.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      I’ve felt very similar to you at times Kat. When people hear about my life they think I should be dead or in jail or addicted to drugs in the streets. I just reconnected with a woman who knew me when I was 18 (I am 55 now) and she actually said, “I thought you’d be dead or in jail.” SO maybe I am living proof that things can get better. I was kidnapped as a child, starved for food and love during my adolescence, then I became very promiscuous at age 13 (looking for love that I could not find in my parents since I was abandoned by one and neglected by the other). I’ve spent a ton of holidays without the usual scenes that people show on social media of happily-ever-after-looking families (I think most of that is a facade by the way). I guess I just want to tell you that you are feeling the painful feelings that are so common among people who feel hurt by those who you would think should love you the most. I get it. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was 9 years old.

      Here’s what has helped me the most:

      1) BEING HONEST about my pain and sharing it with anyone who I think has the time and resources to listen (sometimes I’ve felt like I have given my counselors PTSD just by sharing the terrible things that I have witnessed). If I do not have anyone to talk to then I always write in my journal or my diary. THAT has been proven to help people process pain and it is free.

      2) CRYING. I have cried my eyes out so many times and it is actually therapeutic to get the emotions out of your system and not bottle up the pain. WAY better than fake smiling on social media.

      3) PEER SUPPORT. If you can find others who have endured pain, neglect, abuse (especially similar types) and have a facilitated support group that has been AMAZINGLY helpful.

      4) WRITE YOUR MEMOIR. This is something I did at age 53 and I figured out SO MUCH STUFF about my pain, loss, suffering I wish I had started writing earlier in my life. Feels like I put the pieces of a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle of my life together and so now everything makes sense. Surviving all of this has made me stronger and now I can help others. Now I run peer support groups and even a suicide helpline for doctors.

      Oh, another thing that is worth mentioning. Sometimes it may seem like some people “have it all” yet secretly I can guarantee that even people like doctors are suicidal and struggling. So just know that you are not alone. We all are facing so much suffering and the most important thing is to keep breathing and share your pain.

      I hope this was helpful. I could go on . . .

      What has helped you the most?

      What have you tried?

      I’m curious.

      Then I could give you more suggestions & resources.

  21. Stacy says:

    Being an addict is bad enough but when you’ve lost everything and everyone and you can’t even do a gram of fentanyl without overdosing anymore. I came here to find another way and this is not what I was expecting.I think people should have a right to end their life in a safe way if they choose to. And not to have your body laying somewhere for days and days not sure if someone’s going to find you within the first day or two. It’s funny though people that don’t want to die keep dying get the ones who want to can’t as easily. A poem I wrote many years back I thought I would share real quick before it’s gone along with me.

    Things we go through, life and pain. Constantly year after year hearing I am a shame to the world family and friends always just wishing it would all just end. A slash to the wrist? A blow to the head? The only comfort I have is to sit here contemplating ways to be dead. It will happen soon you will see.. next time you look up and see a beautiful bird flying away that’s me finally…..finally free.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      We all deserve a kind and humane death. We also deserve to have help while we are alive so that we do not have to leave in desperation and pain. I’ve spoken to many people who attempted suicide are survived. They are so thankful to still be here. Things CAN get better. Please don’t give up on yourself. Help is available at 988 in USA.

  22. Yuri says:

    I just want to end it parents getting mad at me for school grades.
    they see me being depressed and think its something to do with school or my friends. So blind they can’t see they are killing from the inside. don’t see the point in living if i will die eventually. but i don’t want to leave the things i do enjoy.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Please keep doing all the things you love. Reach out to your own support system. Talk to another friend or family member. Text START to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor. These counselors can support you and offer advice on how to help your friend. Call 988 = 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
      Hours: Available 24 hours.

    • myzel says:

      yuri im juts like you everything you just said has happened with me well the depressed part hasn´t happened yet but im sure it will but anyways im kinda scared to just commit suicide because just like you said i also have things in life that i love oh yea and the grades thing i TOTTALY get you there i just wanted to put it out there…. finnaly someone who want to die over the same things pls dont it would be nice to talk maybe become friends?

  23. Stefan says:

    I’m broke, my landlord is evicting me, and no one will respond to my messages and voicemails. I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs and consulting opportunities and have been rejected by all of them. I’ve run out of time and hope. So, I am looking for someone to assist me in ending my life. There is no reason to continue. Nothing I do or say matters.

  24. Laci says:

    I live in constant pain I don’t want to be here anymore

  25. Wendy says:

    Why are shunned and made to feel less human just because we feel we WANT this as a treatment option… we’re done. Let us go! We want to go

  26. Rachel says:

    I can relate. The pain is overwhelming. I think my time here has run its course and all I want to do, is go. Peacefully. To those here feeling this way. Know that your not alone. So not alone..

  27. Thank you says:

    Dear Dr Wible,

    I have just read your article on What is the Least Painful Way to Die. It has struck so many very loud chords with me.

    The idea that suicide is voluntary euthanasia for mental health pain, that our language around suicide is counterproductive, that one searches for the least painful way to die and not wanting to leave a mess. I have been trying to work through these questions alone, as a suicidal person, for the last 5 years.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have spoken to people both within and outside of the medical profession and thought “if only I could be honest, if only we could change the narrative here, then perhaps we might see real change”.

    Your work focuses on supporting healthcare professionals. And I get that. And I commend that wholeheartedly.

    However I want you to know that those topics above resonate so much further. So much further.
    I am not a healthcare professional. I am not even living in the US but my god do we need places and people with whom we can have these open discussions, without fear of legal or moral judgement.

    Suicide is an option. As you say, it is not the only option, but it is certainly an option. Right now, your article is the only place I have seem that acknowledges that. If only there was a place where I could explore that option without fear, shame or secrecy, perhaps I would be lead a different option. But calling a “suicide prevention hotline” already has a pre-determined agenda. If some-one wishes to commit suicide why would they call a place that, by its very name, contradicts what they wish to explore and discounts it as an option?

    My parents we life members (oh the irony) of the Dying with Dignity movement, campaigning for the legalisation and acceptance of voluntary euthanasia. They brought me up discussing death as a normal part of life so I consider myself “death positive”.

    I am reaching out today to see if you are aware of any forums the topic of suicide as simply another cause of death can be discussed rationally, thoroughly and without judgement. I feel so strongly that I would like to be part of that discussion. I feel so strongly that if I could be part of that discussion then I might find alternatives to voluntary euthanasia by suicide.

    Even if you do not have an answer for that question, I wanted to thank you for at the very least speaking about suicide within a framework I have not seen acknowledged anywhere else. It is very helpful to know that I am not the only one with this line of thought

    Thank you for this forum to discuss suicide.

  28. L says:

    This article repeatably talks about how hard and pervasive suicide is with doctors. Normal people in even higher stress jobs suffer just as much. I am sick and in my opinion doctors don’t care, are condescending and all around suck. So I don’t care to hear about their high stress lives. When they really don’t face near the stress and anxiety associated with other careers.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      I understand your animosity and lack of empathy for the suffering of doctors. Their lives at a distance may seem like they “have it all” yet I can guarantee that these once idealistic youngsters who enter medicine are wounded beyond comprehension to those who are not in the medical profession. They are working 28-HOUR SHIFTS (illegal in any other industry) and training programs are involved in human trafficking on foreign medical graduates. We witness people die. We don’t have time to cry.We are in more pain than you can imagine—thus our high suicide rate.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      L – here is a letter I got from a doctor in India on November 18, 2014. My doctor suicide helpline serves medical trainees internationally so I hear from suffering people in Pakistan, India, UK, Australia, etc . . .

      Dear Pamela,

      Hi, der. I don’t know how thankful I am to you for writing that article on physician’s suicide. I really wanted to hug you after reading it. I had really rough day after seeing 130 outpatients and around 60 admission emergency in a 12 hour duty. I work as a final year MD internal medicine resident in one of the busiest hospital in India. I saw a part of myself in every page of your article Just couldn’t stop reading the article. It is 3:00 am in the morning here and after a physically and mentally demanding day of work and studies reading your article was the best thing today.

      It takes me 5 hours by flight to reach my home from my hospital. I have my wife and 6 month old son (whom I been with for 15 days since his birth) at home. I work day in and out just to be with them once in 3 months. I don’t see my colleagues smile, I hear my patients misery every day. I smile and crack jokes even when I am sad so that I can bring some joy into my patients sorrowful life.

      Today I saw this patient who died, married with a son, the only earning member of his family …….his widow just wouldn’t accept that he was dead. She kept talking to him. I just didn’t know what to feel ….. I was numb for a minute thinking what if that was me …. And the kid is my son…..

      I see deaths everyday in ward …..I don’t know if you would believe me, but 4 deaths per day in a single ward of 40 beds overcrowded to 125 patients admitted at a time. Two patients on a bed, two lying together on the floor. Poverty, misery and pain all around. I have declared 12 patients dead in a day during one of my duties. I just don’t feel death anymore, just don’t feel human. My uncle died recently, I felt nothing deep inside just some memories and that is it.

      I write this mail hoping that the way I survive my day would help you in helping others.

      I always wish my colleagues and say hi when I see them in the morning. Say hi to everyone from my ward sweeper to the guard in the ward. I never eat alone and always make sure I share my food. I always smile whenever I talk to my patients. I hold their hands when I talk. Listen music whenever possible. And everyday whenever possible I talk to my wife, father, mother, and brother (all of them are doctors).

      But still this profession demands too much from us. I have thought about giving up and suicide a thousand times ……the misery was too much for me to see 12 people die in a day. The only thing that keeps me moving forward is my family and friends.

      I appreciate what you are doing. It took me 4 hours to write this mail. It is 7 am in the morning. But your article was worth it. Thank you. Thanks a lot…..

      Dr. Varun

      Varun died by suicide on June 14, 2016.

      The world has lost a beautiful healer. RIP sweet, sweet soul.

  29. Adelina says:

    I’m holding onto suicidal thoughts I have once attempted suicide in 2008 and 40 years old I married only reason why I still live because for my daughter but it’s so hard when you do nothing wrong and everybody in your family looks at you with negative impulse every little thing you do for them they’re never thankful or grateful always be used and I’m hanging in a thread now I’m having these thoughts now and my daughter is turning nine my husband treats me like a child even though I work two jobs and they’re both full-time in health care as a PSW I’m only with my husband because of my daughter Because I have seen children who committed suicide when their parents are divorced and no one can tell me no cause I work at a child’s hospital

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      I am so sorry to hear you are suffering. Do you have a therapist or a counselor? Anyone who you can confide in? Very true that when one family member dies by suicide the other family members are at higher risk of suicide. I know several families in which multiple family members have died by suicide (and then sometimes the still living loss survivors will develop a rapidly progressing cancer like pancreatic cancer). Example is the suicide of mother and daughter Rhonda & Kaitlyn Elkins: https://www.idealmedicalcare.org/happy-med-student-dies-by-suicide-due-to-perfectionism-and-loneliness/ afterward Rhonda’s husband Allyn died by pancreatic cancer. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was nine. I can say that my life was worth holding on to because my pain has allowed my to share my healing journey with others. Pain can become a healing gift . . . if we don’t give up on ourselves. Sending you love 💕🙏

  30. Overwhelmed says:

    I have had suicidal thoughts my whole life.
    They got worse after my brain surgery left hippocampus/temporal lobe.)
    I didn’t want kids, got pregnant on the pill due to Tegretol.
    Mental illness & addiction runs on both sides of my family.
    My brother & two uncles committed suicide.
    Every day I have to fight the desire.
    I have had 3 near death experiences from seizures.
    I don’t know how to keep fighting this constant desire?

  31. Paul says:

    73 year old retired police officer. I spent my entire adult life trying to make people safer, protect them from those who would prey on the weak and be one who placed integrity in the highest regard. Now, people hate police and unlike every other group, it’s ok to stereotype them. I can no longer hold my head up and feel my sacrifices in both health and injuries as well as psychological damage, was a waste. I’m unmarried and live alone. My final failure, for which I hate myself is that I don’t even have the courage to kill myself.

    • Sass says:

      It’s ok not to be ok, but main thing is u push through it, there will always b light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I should take my own advice!!

    • Me says:

      I hear you.

    • Sara says:

      Thank God you don’t have the courage to commit suicide. As for those who hate the police, that is *their* problem; that is not natural.
      The police are given to us for protection. Thank you so much for your service.
      As for not being married: maybe that is good. It gives you peace for a while.
      Don’t measure yourself according to rebellious, unthankful people. They are not the measure that makes any kind of sense. Your sacrifices were not a waste. Thank you.

  32. esm says:

    I really appreciate that the author of this article acknowledges that the problems that cause suicide are real and not because the person is unstable or has a mental illness. I have been trying to get out of a bad situation for years, applying for new jobs, trying multiple solutions and approaches to solve a serious problem. When every attempt fails, I only have the option to keep living in extreme degredation or end my misery sooner. I’ve run out of things to try. When I ask people for practical help, they treat me as if I have a mental illness and insist that my very real problems are all imaginary. If I say a family member hit me or that I feel sick, they say I am playing the victim and call me a narcissist. Most people are so condescending when talking about other people’s thoughts of suicide. This doctor got it right. It is intolerable injustice and the behavior of people that cause suicide. I spent last Christmas scraping rotting food (thrown deliberately by another adult) and maggots off the bathroom floor and people say if I am depressed I must have a mental problem. I’ve had enough.

  33. Me says:

    I’m in a state of continued emotional suffering, it’s been the steady drum beat of my inner voice since I was 11. I’m considered successful, handsome, kind, and intelligent. I hate, hate, hate my life. I want, need out. I’m rational and I’m done with it. Please respect the request of informing how to die painlessly. I want to escape the very pain I’ve been suffering, not compound it.

  34. Mag says:

    I’m an RN. Ten years in to the career. I knew it was a mistake the first six months. Doctors, nurse management, coworkers are all so violent and abusive. There is so safe spot. It took my entire health from me. Now I’m diabetic, have an autoimmune disorder, caught Covid from and ended up with permanent organ damage. And eventually I’ll kill myself. The damage done is so pervasive and irreversible. There’s no help and no hope. If I quit my job I lose my necessary income. If I stay, I die faster. For a large swath of us there is no fixing it. There is no hope. It took my health from me and I can never get that back.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      I hear similar stories from so many in health care and I can validate the feelings as a once-suicidal doctor myself. Have you thought of breaking free and running your own business? You can do that in health coaching and even as an RN. You do NOT have to continue to be victimized by a toxic health system. You can feel better. I’ve witnessed many people come back from the precipice of death and despair by setting boundaries and refusing to be abused any longer by employers (and family members). Incidentally (just curious) how old were you when you decided to pursue a health career? Did you know when you were a child? What inspired you originally to take this path in life as a nurse?

  35. Colin says:

    Thank you for this read, I have been in and out of suicidal thoughts and attempts which my father committed suicide 4 years ago in a un imaginable way and I feel i have the same fate which weights heavier on me… Reading a certain part of this really hit home for me… I am a opiate addict from chronic pain from a car accident which I have been on sublacade for 4 years after becoming addicted to oxycontin and fentnel but the words “addiction is suicide on a installment plan” really made me start thinking…. The last time i attempted suicide was 2014 and caused permanent damage to me brain and neurologically… But suicidal thoughts are like a plague when you continually beat yourself up and continually believe your not good enough and this game called life and self sabotage yourself… its hard to break the cylce… hard to reach out for help I don’t say anything because I dont want ppl to worry or maybe think I dont mean it and avoid talking about it all together…. its harder to ask for help about suicide then asking for help for addiction feeling of shame, and being a burton…. Anyways my comment probably doesnt make sense to anyone exept me but thank you for letting me express some emotions…

  36. Anne says:

    Wow, I’m always in the ‘other’ category. The care I provide is so thankless. I got the career to be worth something and yet it is not worth a mention. In my profession this stuff isn’t talked about, I don’t have the same access to CDs so I guess less risk. Life is challenge after challenge with no reward. I’m still no better off without having a painless way out.

  37. jade says:

    I am 14 years old and i want to kill my self, all my life i have been trying to fit in and make friends but everyone just likes to make fun of me because i am “fat” they call me rude names and push me around and hit me. my family doesn’t care either they do the exact same they also leave me out of everything and when i have an opinion on something they don’t agree with they beat me i am just tired of living the same shit everyday.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Jade please know that I have seen teens turn their lives around once they get out of high school and find real friends who see them for the beautiful person they are. High school can be so superficial and trust me I never fit in and always hung out with the misfits and underdogs. You can still have a great life. Don’t let these circumstances steal your life. So many of my friends were bullied (by peers and even family members) and they chose to continue living and now they have completely different and much-improved even joyful lives. I’ve been passively suicidal since I was nine. I can tell you that things will get better. Please seek help. Call 988. They can speak with you for free 24/7.

  38. Steve says:

    I think when there’s nothing left in life to enjoy and it is void of friendship and love it’s time to go!

  39. Maurice Lindsay says:

    Hi Pamela
    An interesting forum. My name is Maurice and I’m 73.I am here because I would like to die painlessly as possible. Reading all other people’s stories I generally get where most are coming from. What I hate is the dumb comments from the the a/holes who talk about prayer and god’s plan for us. It would be nice to be able to go through life avoiding reality by holding on to fairy tales that humans have created to explain the inpexplicable. God and religion are creations of the human mind to explain the universe but these explanations are delusional.
    I was raised in the cathol]ic church and made to attend cathol]ic schools and received violent beatings for asking questions that were inappropriate as they questioned what I had been expected to believe as “gospel”. i was an excellent student academically but this was of no account. My parents did nothing to protect me from the Catholic violence and besides were too busy arguing and beating up one another. I had 4 siblings who also gave me a hard
    time. I had a severe nervous- breakdown in my last year of high and spent 5 mo+nths in a mental hospital, I turned 18 in hospital. In the whole time I never had a visit from a family member or inquiry from my school or fellow students.The following year I worked on a farm and got my health back.
    I went back to a school at a public school and was top of the final year class. I won a scholarship and went to university and completed an honours degree and became a secondary school teacher. I went for about ten years but got ill again and had to resume medication for depression and anxiety which I still take. I retired from teaching 18 years ago. I have been married twice and have a son from my second marriage who is a drug addict, he is 33 .I have lived alone for 15 years and have no friends or connection with family. Somehow I have managed to survive but the only reason I haven’t killed myself is my fear of death which is a result entirely of my catholic indoctrination. I am not religious and I don’t believe in any god or gods or heaven or hell although I can tell you my life is and has been hell. My illness is probably genetic as my paternal grand mother had a similar condition as did two of my father’s siblings. I did not intend to have children which is why my first marriage ended and unfortunately I weakened and agreed to having a child with my second wife. He suffers from anti social personality disorder and has pretty much done what he wanted since a young age. He is intelligent but is living the addiction dream and nightmare.
    I won’
    t bore you further but to say that I wish I had never been born and for years have wished I could have killed myself. I have a safe full of guns, heaps of medication and have read all the ways of committing suicide that are available to me. I had a number of girlfriends who suicided and while I was sad I also envied them. Of course I am going to die eventually but despite everything I wish I had never lived in this miserable world assuming of course we really do exist and I am not living in a dream or should I say a nightmare.
    Best wishes,

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Curious what you have ever tried that was helpful. Seems you have had periods of remission. Sending you support and would love to hear more of what has sustained you this far.

  40. Monica says:

    I notice you keep telling people to contact the suicide hotline however these provide no help either. They provide cliche pre written responses and tell you the same crap everyone else does “please reach out to your doctor or find a therapist” yadda yadda. Alot of people are too intelligent and self aware to accept these cliche responses as help. And, unfortunately people just need to let us die. I hear things like “wanting to kill yourself is selfish”, well thats a two way street. Asking someone who is suffering to stay on this earth because you can’t emotionally bear to be without them is also selfish. There is no happy medium. Also, people like me exist who don’t want to die, but need to die. When your body is mangled from physical trauma and you suffer with full body pain everyday that a normal person cannot even fathom….we deserve a way out. We deserve medically assisted suicide. I have no quality of life, can no longer be intimate with my husband, can barely move, and when i do i get a new injury to add to the list. Im painfully existing with no joy to be had. You have no idea how much i wish death had pity on me. Id like to die painlessly under a doctors supervision but since here in the USA its highly frowned upon i may just jump off that building.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Medically administered suicide (via one’s personal physician) is certainly merited when terminally suffering and is legal in Oregon where I work. I’ve helped my patients with terminal conditions gracefully exit and this is certainly the least painful way that I know of to die by suicide.

  41. Ray says:

    This is an extremely underrated piece of writing. No amount of therapy, aka cognitive re-framing, can change one’s circumstance, actual adjustment to ones way of life is needed, be that quitting a job, divorcing a spouse, or disconnecting from parents.

    • John says:

      Wdym this writing is false advertising. I wanna know how to die but this is just why not to.

      • Pamela Wible MD says:

        There are pros & cons to every decision and wise to consider all options before making an impulsive decision that you may regret.

  42. Unknown says:

    Its just too miserable

  43. cantohondo says:

    Try, try and try to get help and nothing. Mental health plans that go nowhere, 2 year waiting list to see a useless psychologist who cannot accurately diagnose me, psychiatrists want $900 just to do an assessment. Homeless and unemployed for almost 10 years and I’m not coping. They say get help but there is no help. My dog is the only reason I am still here. When he dies I will end my life for sure. There’ll be no reason left to live then.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Pets have saved many many people from making the decision to end their lives. You may find the best help outside of allopathic medical system which is in devolution. I’ve find the best help for my suicidal thoughts via “alternative” healers.

  44. tom merrigan says:

    Everyone has different reasons for attempting suicide, but all have three things in common: a sense of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness.
    The best antidote to these is something to do, someone to love, and something for which to hope.

  45. :/ says:

    We will die one day one way or the other, why not just do it now then later?

  46. John says:

    I think this advice is half awful and half acceptable… if someone survives with excruciating pain for the rest of their life… what right do you have to require that person continue living?

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      No requirement to continue living. Death with dignity is legal in Oregon and I have helped terminal patients with medically assisted deaths.

  47. Anonymous says:

    I currently work in the health care field and I love my job. I have 4 children and two grandchildren. I love my husband but now the my kids are older and they have their own life, I think it’s safe for me to checkout. I love God and I know where I’m going. To heaven. I’m just tired. And sad. Nothing brings me pleasure. I wasn’t a good mother. I didn’t know how to protect my children from been molested . Now they have also issues and there is nothing I can do to change their pass. I know commuting suicide is going to leave a scared but at lease I am trying to leave everything in order. My will and finances. I’m more worth it death than alive. Money is not everything but it sure will help them. I just want to make sure not to fail on the attempt. I’m not afraid to die. I’m ready

  48. To quit or not to quit says:

    Growing up was hard for me physically and eventually, also mentally. It was because of the care of great doctors, nurses, and other allied healthcare workers why I am still alive today. I am very grateful for what they have done for me so I decided to pursue medicine. But welp, I am dying here. Being an intern, everyone just yells at me, and as much as I want to bear everything so that I may help someone like the younger me, I think I’m gonna call it quits and become a scientist instead. It feels like I have wasted so much time, effort, money, blood, sweat, tears, and parts of my soul, but I just don’t see myself working in such a toxic environment. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since college and it’s pretty ironic how we, as supposed health experts, aren’t imposing strict lifestyle practices for our own welfare. God.

  49. Kris says:

    Do you have to be an MD part or your chat group. I’m a well I don’t know what I worked hard to obtain the following; RN,CCRN,MSN. I was 3courses short of obtaining a post-master’s certificate as a Gerontology APN.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      All healers are welcome. We have NPs, PAs Med students, residents and mostly docs. GREAT & loving group! 💕

  50. Kris says:

    I’m continuously struggling.
    I out out for medical leave and during this time my husband passed away. I was working between three different locations . Location A sent a A card with multiple gift cards which helped us so much), location B 2 friends came with a card and money collected with was amazing!
    Location B ( back story was were I worked when I started working at this facility & before I accepted floating) location B sent nothing
    A card just letting me know the support me. Nothing

    The entire Radiology were notified of my husbands passing . No cards nothing. When I returned a few mentioned sorry for your loss.
    My own manager did not acknowledge my loss until I returned to work.

    I’m struggling each and every day working here I think about going to HR but I’m terrified!
    More and more depressed eac d and every day .
    What do I do to put on a happy face?!

  51. Anonymous says:

    I am only q nurse. 33 years. Divorced. My ex is deceased.My brother who was 2 years older died last year of cancer. I couldn’t help him. I tried. The hospital, wow, where do I start. I hurt my neck lifting people. Arthritis. Physical and mental pain, depression, anxiety. No hope left. I should be on disability but was told I could do sedentary duty as a RN.I can’t find q rewarding sedentary job. I’m hurting myself working 2 jobs that pay crap, with no benefits. Kids see me rarely. 25 and 29. 2 grandkids. The parents won’t even let you buy them a toy or hug them.The parents aren’t married and fight constantly . My son is bipolar. His girlfriend has MS. The kids see them fighting and cursing one another. I asked my son to stop fighting, he told me to shut the f up. My daughter lives in my other house next door. She has her boyfriend living there. I pay all the bills because they won’t work. She ignores me. It’s all about her guy. I tried to get her to finish her degree but she won’t. She’s always “sick”. Unless it’s something he wants her to do. I’m lonely. Sad, depressed. I work for a private clinic and per diem at a surgery center. The doctor cut my hours again. I have no vacation, sick or personal time. I can’t work the floors again because of my neck and tore a tendon at work in my wrist. No insurance. Workers comp denied the claim. So I’m still broken but working
    Diabetic, no breaks. I can’t do this any longer. I can’t not work or I’d lose everything I worked so hard to keep. No real friends, everyone’s fake.
    The system in this country favors the lazy and the rich. If I don’t work, I will lose my houses, my car, my kids will abandon me totally if I can’t give them what they want from me. My brother who is still alive takes care of his family and my sis in law. Sure she’s q widow, but I’ve been doing this alone for 25 years. I’m tired. Nothings going to change. Just work til I die. Suffer everyday. No spleen, partial gastrectomy, distal pancreatectomy, plates in my neck. Bone spurs in my thumbs , arthritis in both hands and knees. Yet the social security people say I can work. I really tried. I like my patients, but it’s an assembly line. Docs say move faster. They need 25 minutes at least to recover. I can’t push them out. They were sedated. I was septic , on a vent for 2 weeks. My son wanted them to wake me so he could see if I was still there. The hypoxia and hallucinations were horrible. I disconnected the vent and bit down on the tube. They brought me back. Unfortunately. No bright light. No family greeting me. I was outside the hospital I worked at in the NDE. Saw people dying on the floors. Heard elevator music. Then blue, purple lights. I didn’t want to go back. I could hear them then. Got yelled at and a thump to my heart. Dying is hard, being dead isn’t.

  52. unknown says:

    i am 12 i know people wont agree but my dad hits me all the time now and punch me in the face because i steal 20 dollars and

  53. Anonymous says:

    Iam so done with life I hate it I’ve lost everyone that I love I’m my life even though I have 3 wonderful children 2 adults and a teen but I feel as if they would be better of without me. I’ve been an addict and Ibe been narcaned 4 times I was pissed each time I woke up. My fiance died 20 years ago my mom dies and I found her then my daddy drank himself to death and then my brother who I was closest to and related to sucommed to ending his pain. And I just can’t take it anymore. I feel useless in the way and a failure. I feel alone unwanted and unloved. Eventho I’ve gotten clean and have tried so hard but it’s just too much for me anymore. I’m just trying to figure out the most efficient effective and quickest way that won’t be a mess Incase my family finds me. I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPES WITH NO OTHER WAY OUT and I do NOT see nothing getting better for me.

  54. Christine says:

    Do you have any resources for California? I don’t think I can keep doing this.

  55. Cleveland says:

    There aint no heaven, and I’m pretty sure I know alot about Hell. So I’m not too worried about what happens after you sign off. Its the way to Do It that puzzles me. A Sure Thing that can’t be botched. That doesn’t leave you splattered about and making a mess. Check out when YOU want to. YOU are In Control, and it’s YOUR life.
    Cover the funding for cremation, and you are Good To Go. Sell all your stuff, you aren’t taking it with you anyways, that can cover the costs right there, mates.

  56. Anonymous says:

    I have been a drug addict for 45 years I just turned 59 last Wednesday I tried to overdue those on a fentanyl but it wasn’t strong enough and became addicted to it now I am spending every cent I have on Fentanyl and the only way that I can die is by jumping off of bridge but then I’m going to end up s******* out of a bag having somebody change my diapers how can I kill myself I don’t want to live anymore my kids are growing what can I do

  57. Brandy says:

    I need help but not in medical field

  58. someone says:

    I’ve been wanting to die since I was 11 and one question whats the point of life you’re gonna end up dying anyways?

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      If you believe in reincarnation, you may come back right where you left off to learn the life lessons that were supposed to be learned in the prior life. I believe (like any cultures) I chose my parents before I was born and set up the circumstances (even the painful miserable ones) of my life before I got here. We are spiritual beings living a finite human experience for the purposed of soul growth and deep learning. A superficial “happy” life doesn’t give us the friction (and pain) to grow. Just my thoughts. I’ve wanted to die since I was nine when I was in an extremely unsafe family situation as a child with no help from any responsible adults.

  59. Laura says:

    What help can you offer?

  60. Oneanddone says:

    “First, we should agree that it’s better to say that a person has died of suicide than to say that they have committed suicide. One step towards preventing suicides is to use less offensive and stigmatizing language when discussing the topic.”

    Oh dear christ this kind of nonsense just affirms that I AM making the right choice. The whole world has gone stupid and nuts. There’s nothing left I want, nothing good I could ever have. I’m over it. Goodbye. So over it and there’s no point in words or anything else really. It was a good run. Okay anyway. Screw it.

  61. SW says:

    I’m not a doctor. I’m just a young girl really struggling at the moment. I always try remain positive anf try tell myself ‘someone out there has it worst’. This only works for so long. I’ve had therapy for 3 years straight. It’s helped a lot with understanding things that happened in my childhood, but now its stopped, I feel lonely. I don’t have anyone ! I have a very loving, caring, and understanding boyfriend. My thoughts stop when I’m with him. When I’m away and at home by myself, I can’t help but think why I was dealt such a horrific and traumatic life. I believe in God, and I’m still waiting on my purpose in this world, but I’m finding it hard to actually see what it is. I self harmed a lot in my life. I’ve stopped for ages, but I’m always close to doing it again. I think about death a lot, and just wonder to myself if it’s the best thing for me… Just to stop this pain and sadness that I carry with me everyday. Both my parents abused me. Sexually, mentally, and physically. I never went to primary school, and never knew what was happening was wrong. Men would come round the house and do the most disgusting of things. I was tortured in the most hateful way. When I eventually went into care, I was just moved around, and never had anyone or anything stable or consistent in my life. I was torn from my siblings, which is what I’ve found pretty hard. I was taken from my home town and have never been able to feel at home… Not that I know what that feels like. I find it hard to sleep and feel safe. I feel cruel just by being with my boyfriend, because I know deep down, I just don’t fit in. He’s had a broken life too, but he’s got people around him who generally care and love him. I’ve got no one…

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Just a reality check not to minimize your suffering or to ever compare your suffering (or life) to others. Most people have their “hidden pain” and trauma that they try to keep secret. I commend you for being transparent, for sharing your story, and for having sought help in the past. I have been through agazillion therapists & all sorts of healing avenues trying to find my why and my life purpose and it has taken a long time, but it is SO worth it to keep breathing and top gain the wisdom of age. I would never go back to being in my 20s or 30s because I was so confused about life. Please just know that if you keep searching you will find answers and I have discovered through my own experience and listening to so many others who have suffered that things do get better. The one thing that has helped me tremendously is writing down my thoughts and in 2021 writing a draft of my life story. Felt SO great to finally see all the puzzle pieces of my life and make sense of my chaotic life (I was kidnapped 3 times before I was 9 year old and both my parents suffer from mental illness) . . . You have a divine purpose. Another thing that helped me is getting my birth chart done by an astrologer who really helped me understand at the soul level WHY I am here and my special gifts. I highly recommend Laura Black (Google her name and Cosmic Consultant) if you do want to have a session. You will need to know the exact time of your birth for the best reading.

  62. Nicole Stallard says:

    I’m upset there’s no answer to the question what is the least painful way to die I’m in chronic pain and just get put thru pt and pain management which makes it worse I wish I could die you people don’t know what pain is or how it’s to be treated badly by doctor for trying to get help pain all day everyday

  63. Anonymous says:

    I want to run away where no one knows me. I have no way to survive. I need my job. The pain of functioning and existing is too much to get out of bed. I have a list I’m working through to try and make things easier for those around me. All the information they will need. I’m in debt I don’t seem to ever be able to get a handle on. Anyone I tell how I feel says it isn’t real. People who are serious don’t talk about it. They just do it. So I’ve stopped talking. I am writing out instructions so ot is easier for those who come after me. I have not husband. No children. And all I manage to do is hurt people and disappoint. All passwords are ready. Life insurance is in place. I have a few notes to write and was getting through an important wedding which was last weekend. I really just want to know what I can do that will not be difficult for family. Check into a hotel? No memories at my home that way. I don’t know what to take. Or do. Trying yo figure it out. I’ve taken a bunch of medicine…but it doesn’t seem yo be doing anything badly taking my memory away. I have about 3 people in care about that im trying to take care of by checking out. Im hopeful the money will make their lives easier. I am sure not doing that here. I really just ant to know what can put me to sleep so I don’t wake up. My psychiatrist of 22 years retired in December. He was the last one I felt I had hope with. Not I keep messing up all the relationships in my life. It’s killing me inside. The pain makes breathing and functioning too much.

    • Jen e says:

      It’s really hard to put my affairs in order when there is simply no ability to think or energy to take care of it all. I’m exhausted with no end in sight. Maybe people will understand if everything isn’t arranged perfectly. I’m just so tired and broken

  64. k says:

    i’m not doctor, but i really needed to read this. thank you, you do amazing work

  65. Nobody says:

    I was a abused child growing up not sexually, but physically and mentally. It took awhile for me to get passed that. I have never felt loved by my family. I got over it and was getting my life together. Then all three of my childhood best friends and my nanny died in under a 2 year period. I lost all will to live. I still have social anxiety because I am afraid that people will just die on me. I am even afraid to sleep. I feel that I will wake up to another call. I almost died from not eating and the stress in my body. My mother then was diagnosed with cancer. Something snapped in me and helping my mother was all I cared about. I felt I could help and fix it and make the relationship better. I then met a female and got in my first relationship in 8 years. I then find out she was pregnant with my child. The first time in my life I felt some type of happiness. Then I walk in the bathroom and find her gray without a pulse in the floor with blood. I administered CPR and was able to save her. I find out then she had a opioid addiction. I then find out her choices lead to her to having a miscarriage. I broke down and then was let go at my job and lost everything. I then was guilt tripped by my mother to give my vehicle to my brother so he wouldn’t lose his job. Now I am stuck not wanting live. I just cannot deal with them still putting me down when all I have done was try to help. I feel trapped, lost, and already dead inside.

  66. J says:

    I don’t care about the livelihoods of doctors. They’re worthless frauds and they carelessly fail to help those of us they’re supposed to be treating. I will never be happy, never be whole, never be complete and no matter how many times I reached out for help, they did nothing. I hope more doctors feel an ounce of what I’m feeling and I hope more of them commit suicide. Nurses, too. Fuck all of you.

  67. v says:

    I quit my job because it left me depressed and now I want to commit suicide because there are no options.

  68. Anonymous says:

    im not a doctor, but i am suicidal. i already have 4-6 attempts under my belt, nobody really remembers how many. i took benadryl. now i suffer from permanent psychosis and memory loss. ive been shunned by my family and even the closest of my friends because they’re afraid of me. if they get too attached to ne, and i kill myself, then what? i came here with the intent to find a painless way to die, as benadryl certainly wasn’t the answer, and now here i am… writing a suicide note to nobody, in a comment that no one will read. how much more alone can you get than that?

  69. g says:

    how do i seriously die without pain??

  70. Philip says:

    I’m not a physician but have been working with a number of them since my sibling became ill last year. Her state has affected my own long term depression, and I’ve experienced gradual, then accelerating, suicidal ideation. Some bad news today precipitated an explosion of it, but these words in this piece gave me pause and the perspective to break through my self destructive thought barrier:

    “What is the least painful way to live and the best way to be happy? Instead of worrying about the least painful way to die, we should instead ask ourselves how we can continue living with less pain. Suicide is an escape from unbearable pain with no end in sight… Anything is better than suicide. You never know what magical experience life will bring to you if you just hang on for one more day.
    You can make a decision to try something new. You can make a decision to do what will make you feel happy, fulfilled, and grateful. All you have to do is make a decision and take action and change your life for the better.”

    I’ve copied these words into my notebook and will remember to read them and reflect on how my own carpentry produced this very uncomfortable bed of nails upon which I can neither think nor rest.

    Thank you for giving me this self-help pause.

  71. veikkuli says:

    help please

  72. Apparently nobody says:

    im tired of people playing games with my head lying to me just to get me to let my guard down long enough to be stabbed in the back i dont want to live on this fucked up planet anymore im tired of being confused hurt and feeling betrayed im heartbroken im going to kill myself because of him and his fucked up ways.

  73. Karol says:

    “Has died of” as opposed to “committed” is a complete idiocy and exacerbates the problem not helps to solve it. And you’re a PhD saying such nonsense? What university awarded you a degree for being so dumb?

    Take some history and philosophy lessons or read 1984 in the least. Your “Newspeak” is retracting civilization not advancing it.

  74. FP says:

    Hy, Pamela.
    I don’t know what should I do right now, but one thing is for sure, I want to die easily… I have too much burden on my shoulder, because my mom put my whole family in debt, and no one can pay it. We lose our houses and broke, really broke… I can live until right now cuz I have a supportive boyfriend. He does everything for me, he spends his money on my daily needs and even pays some debt for my family. Right now I am really sorry for him, I lose face in his big family, he is too good for someone like me, we even can’t afford a wedding because of this. We can’t buy a house of our own cuz he helps me to pay the debt and I still need to provide everything for my family. It’s really painful when you know that there is no future for me, I even can’t get a job because I have no title, I just do my uni life halfway. My older sister still lives pointless and does nothing, I need to think everything by myself and I am really tired now. I just think to leave the world, but sorry for my precious boyfriend. I always tell him, that I want to end my life and he always tries to calm me down, he said that I’m the most important thing in his life, but I really don’t have the heart to put him in such a hard time. He is’t rich enough for shuttle down my family debts, but at least he trying. I am really broke to pay a psychologist/psychiatrist, but I think everyone still can’t help me cuz what I need is to get out of this penniless life.

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      What is your profession? If you could create an ideal outcome for yourself on this planet, what would that be? Also what city are you in and I will see if I can help you with resources and connections with some health professionals.

  75. Fuk you says:

    Fuk u it’s mad simple just let us know a painless way to die..

    • Stein says:

      I am not a specialist. And I think you should see one. But think about all the people who loves you. Think about your aspirarions. About your parents, your sisters and brothers, their kids, who love you. Maybe you are meant to endure even though you feel bad. I think the same EVERY day but I just cannot enlope because of my family, when you go, it’s not just you who go – everybody goes. And this is something we all should think about. Getting treatment is first option, leaving you can do if nobody can help you. And THEN everybody will understand.

    • SteinG says:

      I am not a specialist. And I think you should see one. But think about all the people who loves you. Think about your aspirarions. About your parents, your sisters and brothers, their kids, who love you. Maybe you are meant to endure even though you feel bad. I think the same EVERY day but I just cannot enlope because of my family, when you go, it’s not just you who go – everybody goes. And this is something we all should think about. Getting treatment is first option, leaving you can do if nobody can help you. And THEN everybody will understand.

  76. Anon says:

    I know this was aimed towards health care professionals but as a bed ridden chronically ill individual I think the whole ‘nothing is stopping you from living a full life (even just go walk) thing as the main argument for wanting to live definitely does nothing to help those like me who literally want to die because there is something stopping us from living a life.

  77. Lynn Cappelli says:

    I have broken my back several times. Manynsurgeries and alternnnate epidural steroid innnnections,
    BONE MARROOW, KYPHOHOKASTY,and fell again 3 weeksago; Xrays showed 2fractured L1 and L2. Idevelped shinges after this.
    My pain unbelivabnle. My doctors don’t underand the pain It burns, it[s swollen and just toughing is So painful

    I just wantb to die


  78. Marco says:

    You know I couldn’t read the whole things coz it didn’t helpd me bcuz I’m leaving in Iran! I Cal it the country of cancer!! We don’t have a decent government no human rights no freedom at all and specially when you have no soport from your parents or your family cuz all 6 of them are broke and I’m the only one who supporting them and at the end of the month I got nothing to save for my future to have my personal life! I mean literally I feel like I’m a dead human walking sometimes and have no budy to share my thoughts to face to face with… I whant to finish my self but have no guts to do it. Sorry if I typed wrong cuz my writing is not good in spelling

  79. Stein says:

    I agree. I once was a medical student, and now I’m not. I just had enough. The problem lies not in the profession, but in the person. It’s not about the patients, it’s about the problems cropping up. I, myself had some major philosophical issues. And nobody could advice in the proper fashion. So I quit. Couldn’t take it anymore, I had too much in my private life. And THIS needs to be considered. Being a physician is good but you need to have yourself sorted out. Anyways…..

  80. SteinGG says:

    Philosophically and linguisticsllky, I disagree bigtime. A doctor can say whatever, but a doctor is but a doctor, and he/she has no formal training in thinking or psychology. Neither training in the history of thinking. So, I would say, take a doctor’s advice with a pinch of salt and therenext think about what is REALLY the issue. Cause, most people can’t be cured by a doctor, simply because the doctor dom’t know enough.For sure, bacterial infections they can help, but mental issues you need to resort to, not a psychiatrist, but a therapist. A psychiatrist can give you pills but not remedy your real pain. Your real pain resides n your mental state and there is nothing a psychiatrist can do about this. You need a therapist, or in my case a therapist with deep knowledge about philosophy. No escape.

  81. SteinGGG says:

    Philosophically and linguisticsllky, I disagree bigtime. A doctor can say whatever, but a doctor is but a doctor, and he/she has no formal training in thinking or psychology. Neither training in the history of thinking. So, I would say, take a doctor’s advice with a pinch of salt and therenext think about what is REALLY the issue. Cause, most people can’t be cured by a doctor, simply because the doctor dom’t know enough.For sure, bacterial infections they can help, but mental issues you need to resort to, not a psychiatrist, but a therapist. A psychiatrist can give you pills but not remedy your real pain. Your real pain resides n your mental state and there is nothing a psychiatrist can do about this. You need a therapist, or in my case a therapist with deep knowledge about philosophy. No escape.

  82. Kiarash says:

    I live in Iran, all my hopes, my goals, all of my works has been ruined
    all members of my family, my friends, my fiancé and my co-workers blame me for my depression. my last therapist betrayed me and she told my boss all of my personal and family/financial issues. everyone blame me for being not happy anymore.
    and there is no one left for me to talk and obviously I feel I’m all alone in this universe and there is no string to catch. I’d rather die and not continue it anymore cuz it’s out of control for me. i just wish I’d know if there’s ever been another life or not, where at least i can be happy, i can talk to someone and not being abused. i just need to be free

    • Pamela Wible MD says:

      Is there a suicide helpline in Iran? Are there resources to help with depression? In some cultures there is a lack of understanding about mental health and yet so many of us (including myself) have struggled with depression, anxiety, and feeling suicidal. Please know that even when life presents you with suffering, there is often a path forward.

  83. Anonymous says:

    I am just fed up with life. So I decided to leave my husband and abandoning my children.

    At the same time the consequences of taking my life will give too much trouble.

    Everyday I am contemplating ending my life. How do I deal with it.

  84. Allan says:

    Why is anything better than suicide? Life ends, choosing to end it on your terms is a very logical choice in light of the insanity this social structure expects us all to be enslaved to.

  85. Mar says:

    I’m a MD in Spain. When COVID hit, the situation and work overload, caused me to have severe anxiety. I took time off and tried natural methods for months, finally I gave in and tried antidepressants. Worst mistake, my anxiety multiplied x 1000. Since then I have lost my job, have been in pysch ward 3 times, put on antiphyscotics and benzos. 3 years have past and I find myself completly lost, unable to function and druged up. Everytime I try to reduce the medications I get horrible withdrawals much worse than my original anxiety. I feel I have been poisoned by my pyschatrist colleagues. My brain will never be the same. If I can’t go back to my old self I have no interest in living. I have come to realize that suicide is my only option as my situation is irreversible. I see It as brave decision, nothing more powerful and loving towards others, when your situation is irreversible and have become a burden

  86. Jordan V says:


  87. Jo says:

    Some many doctors sexually assault harass hurt abuse sloppy work hurt negligent horror shop doctors do us all a favor and jump

  88. A says:

    The fact that I’ve googled “way to die painlessly” completely shatters me. I’ve never thought I’d come to this stage of my life. I’ve been having passive ideas of suicide. I’m a practicing dr whos trying my best to upgrade in life but everything doesn’t seem to work my way. I feel lost. I don’t know what else to other than being a dr. A huge portion of my life is dedicated to learning how to doctor. Leaving this fraternity renders me useless. I don’t have a wife or a child or anyone to take care. That comforts me knowing if I died no one would be unattended to. I just hope when I try to end my life I won’t be found or survive it.

  89. Mary says:

    I just prefer to leave this earth, I failed in many ways, my kids are young adults, they would understamd

  90. S says:

    I am just over life, I have done all I can for my kids to heal and move forward, I am a failure and just think nothing of myself, my kids will understand and will thrive. I feel worse all the time vs feeling accomplished, I just can’t anymore

  91. Hassan says:

    suicide doesn’t fix anything, dont be a pussy and give up, your ancestors did not survive all those hardships only for u to take ur own life, honor them, survive the hardships, after all, the world is not a bed of roses…. I also have all those thoughts about suicide because of my problem with studies, parents, etc.. but I have to live with it, and play with the cards I’m given.I know that my life will be much easier and better once I graduate and get old enough to live on my own and leave my family n etc. but I’ll have to wait till then…

  92. Maureen morrison says:

    Been fighting cancer for over 5 years and bave had enough nothing anyone can do just rotting from the inside out I hurt and don’t have much of a bloody life anymore just want it over

  93. Melissa says:

    Possibly one of the most impressive items of note on this site is the following: “Entering health care as a profession is often a trauma response from childhood.” I had never considered how past trauma had lead me to want to be caring and supportive of others. Burnout is often discussed in healthcare, but I am not entirely sure that what I am experiencing is burnout. I describe it as “soul tired.” It is almost as though I have had my fill of seeing others suffering and done enough of my own that motivation to see that there is something more than pain seems to be out of reach lately.

  94. The NOTHING says:

    But all those so called drs treat patients like garbage, and when the power, and money no longer drive there bull shit agenda, and not help people,,, eventually these pathetic so called drs feel guilty,. You swore an oath! But yet, you pre judge, assume, and then hold back from helping,, im a chronic pain sufferer, drs treat me like absolute shit!!! I never od, never broke the law, never !!! But yet I have self righteous! Over paid, over educated retards tell me what I need, not, work with me, or give me a chance!!! So to all the so called drs, or frauds!!! That try or do kill themselves,, deserve to rot in hell!!!! I been disabled 2o years! And I now can’t deal with the agonizing pain, and all the bull shit drs put me through!!!!! I hope all you shit drs kill yourselves!! in fact! I’m happy they do!! Life is shit! And all these pretentious ass holes, deserve to rot in hell!!! I am done playing games, jumping through hoops, get treated like a criminal!! Called a junkie!! And I have never abused my meds, and I promised my family (who hate me) due to my pain ruining my pathetic existence!!!!!!that when my dog is elderly and can’t enjoy her life, we both are going to leave this pathetic shit god damn nightmare ends!!! I truly hope all those terrible humans, or so called drs!!! Rot in hell for all eternity!!!! And I hope they kill themselves as painfully as possible!!! I hope they suffer as bad as I have suffered!!!!!! Walk a mile in my shoes! Right straight to hell!! My their souls burn for eternity!!!!

  95. Noneyobusiness says:

    Just give the answer. No need for stories. Just tell me the least painful way to die

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