View 25-minute video above ⬆️. Transcript edited for clarity.

Dr. Pamela Wible: We are gathered here today to help a suicidal surgeon (and any health professional) who has written me a comment my blog. I got this yesterday right before boarding a plane, and it says:

I’ve been in healthcare my entire life. Surgical services. Because I spoke up against wrongdoing, stood up for myself, I’m out of a job and can’t get a job anywhere now. I’m 60 now. I don’t know what to do. I’ve had a hard life and I buried all the pain in work. Now. Alone and nothing, but time on my hands all of it has surfaced. I have been thinking about ending my life every single day for a long time. Some nights the urge is very strong. I cry myself to sleep almost daily. Every day. I don’t want to live anymore. There is no reason to. I just exist. Serving everyone but myself for over 25 years. I have been single for 24 years. Raised four kids by myself. Took care of mom when she passed. Then dad for seven years before he passed. Lost one son to an overdose. I’m so alone. I can’t take it anymore. God knows. I’m sorry for my weakness. I can’t pick myself up anymore. Nothing is working and my career is over.

Then I had a layover at an airport on the way home. And another comment came in 30 minutes after the first one. From the same person. I can’t respond directly, so we’re making this video. To help Anonymous, who further stated:

After reading what I wrote, it just sounds like a pity party for myself. But why does it feel so overwhelmingly strong? Why is the belief and the rationalization of ending my life so present in my mind every single day? And some days so strong, the pain has become so overwhelming that taking a knife or fork and scraping my arms helps relieve some of it. The pain of my life has overcome all faith. Strength I once had.

We have three guests from our peer support group—doctors determined to help other doctors not die by suicide. We help all medical professionals, even medical students, nursing students, any health professional who is suffering. Of course, we don’t want anyone to die by suicide. We have a lot of expertise in our group. We love helping physicians who are suffering (confidential care so no med board involvement or EMR!). Amir, what advice would you give this person who’s out there struggling?

Dr. Amir Friedman: Thank you for having me, Pamela, and hello to everybody here. I had the privilege of reading the comment that Pamela shared with us from Anonymous, What really resonated with me is that you had to take care of your family members. You took care of your mom when she passed and then your father for seven years before he passed, and you lost a son to an overdose. The reason that resonated with me so strongly is I have also had a similar experience in my family. I’m a physician. I’ve also been investigated, prosecuted (and imprisoned for insurance fraud). The loss in my family dramatically really outweighed the loss in my professional life, though. At the time, the two seemed to be equal in terms of loss. Read more ›